Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Return of Keyword Chaos


Today is my birthday, so I'm going to relax a little. Here are some amusing search keywords for your reading pleasure. I am fully aware that I owe you a spanking story, but neither the spankings nor the story are finished yet.
  • date lap kiss leg skirt spank hand - For the non-sequitir spanko

  • jumped off desk panty girdle legs spread - The people at the emergency room had never heard of this game

  • smack my bottom range - I can hit high C with a little help from Randy

  • hairbrush buttocks workout - For the health-conscious spanko, we recommend swat aerobics

  • spanked blog - Naughty, naughty blog! You shouldn't display dirty words!

  • test spank panties bottom - "Can you feel it now?"

  • hot apple bottom females being spanked - A jug of cider, a plank of pine, and thou

  • conservative spanking bare bottom - Hey look, it's Rush Limbaugh, and what's that he's got in his hand?

  • panties with writing on seat - This end up

  • self-spanking chat - I think this hurts. Yes, indeed it does. Maybe even more than last time. Let's continue...

  • subtle kinky lady bondage - I'm just not picturing subtle bondage

  • socks and want to be spanked - OK, maybe the sock drawer inventory concept has promise after all

  • vibrator wager torture erotica - What happens in Vegas...

  • boyfriend penetrates my anus during sleep - File this under NFW

  • hitachi magic wand tutorial - What tutorial do you need? Isn't it obvious?

  • grab your ankles over my knee - Introducing contortospanking

  • sound of spanking - My cheeks are alive...

  • why does sexual spanking turn people on - I guess that would be the sexual part

  • spankasia - My favorite part is the Night on Bare-Ass Mountain scene

  • my neighbor with panties - As opposed to everyone else in the neighborhood who goes without

  • spanking mary ann's bottom - Personally, I always thought Ginger was much more deserving

  • satin and lace and bare bottom spanking - Ah, the luxuries of refined living!

  • please not on my bare bottom - In the entire history of spanking, has this plea ever worked even once?

  • banjos bare bottom spanking - Oh no, not Deliverence!

  • lesbian spanko blog christmas - Wait until you see what we're decorating this year!

  • beyonce over my knee - Yeah, in your dreams

  • friendly bare bottom smack - It's good to have friends

39 comments :

New Beginnings said...

"please not on my bare bottom - In the entire history of spanking, has this plea ever worked even once?"

Never!! If you have to ask, it's way to late, you're toast!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Elis

SmartNnaughty said...

Bonnie,

It is amazing what people search for! Now turn this into a spanking story and you have classic spanko prize-winning literature *grin*

At least all us spankos will appreciate it.

And happy belated birthday to a wonderful spanko woman!!!!!!!!!

SNN

kitten said...

Oh bonnie, I was giggling and snickering at the beginning of this post but by the end I was full out laughing out loud! You are too funny! Thanks. (oh and btw, I'm baack. ;)

SmartNnaughty said...

Bonnie,

Here is one from my blog I got just now. Tell me how this brought someone to my blog:

charcoal merchant 2006 recent guest book in poland

hee hee hee hee hee

SNN

kk said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie.

Hope you have a spanking good time today.

A.S.S. said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie.

-Todd & Suzy

Katie_Spades said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie and happy spankings!

xoxo,
Katie

Eva said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie!!!

little one said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie! May you have a day filled with love, peace, and of course lots of spanking!!

Once again, your keyword search made me giggle, but it's your wit that you post along beside them that really cracks me up!

*Birthday Hugs*
little one

donald said...

Oh, Bonnie, it's my birthday too! So I hope you are having as good a birthday as I am!

Roper

Anonymous said...

Perthaps Sheriff Buelton gives you a birthday spanking ...

http://www.marcospank.com/viki/tank/tank01.htm

badtom said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie,

Your blog is brilliant,
and your keywords are a hoot!

Danielle said...

Happy birthday Bonnie!

These last two days I'm dealing with an envious husband.
WILD CHERRY DERRIERE ... he keeps telling me. I should have invented these words... Maybe you could choose that name for your new blog I adviced him. So Bonnie if you don't mind ...:)))

Anonymous said...

I love when you post these, Bonnie!!! Your replies are always so funny!!!

*hugs*
Tigger

Sky said...

ROTFLMAO Happy Birthday Bonnie!

Kayley said...

Delightful post, Bonnie!! Happy Birthday, girl! :)

SeaRabbit said...

Happy Birthday!!! I wish you'll have the best Bday spanking of all!!!

Dante d'Amore said...

Happy birthday Bonnie! Gotta love September births. ;)

Hilarious post!

Now that I know Tigger has been here and likely won’t be back to read this comment, I’d just like to say that while Ginger most deserved a spanking, I’d love, umm, I mean I “would have” loved a chance to spank MaryAnn. And, umm, ah, umm, in case Tigger happens to return I’d, umm, I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that the fact that my, umm, “friend,” Alicia’s nickname is MaryAnn is purely a weird coincidence. And, umm, I’d, ah, I’d also like to say that just because I might like to have MaryAnn’s, umm, I mean, might “have liked at one time way back in the ‘60s when MaryAnn was on that TV show on some island,” umm, liked to have MaryAnn’s bare ass stretched over my knee, doesn’t mean I still don’t want Tigger’s ass, I mean, still wouldn’t have liked Tigger’s, umm, I mean Ginger’s ass (it’s that red hair they both have that is confusing me) over my knee as well, umm, I mean, as much. Ya, that’s it! I think ...

Tigger doesn’t ever come back to comment on the same post twice, right?

Bonnie?

Right?

Please tell me I’m right!

Happy birthday again! I’ll be back next year to wish you another.

Well, if I’m still “around.”

Dante

padme said...

Happy birthday dear bonnie!! I wish you a very happy birthday and a beautiful day today!! I hope you get all the birthday spankings you want!! :)
BIG HUGS
~padme

Tiggr said...

Happy, happy birthday Bonnie... I'm assuming that you are sitting precariously perched atop a huge pile of squishy soft pillows today! Go Randy!!

Boy did I ever get Dante this morning... you should have SEEN the look on his face as I pointed out that he had written here to the wrong tigger... that I no longer comment anonymously, that I spell my name Tiggr (no E)... it was priceless!!

MaryAnn and Skippy... how quaint!

At least for now, I got the last laugh on this one... happy birthday! I hope you like all your gifts... did ya get the shirt that you asked for? Do we get to see you model it?

Big hugs,
Tiggr (no E!)

Anne Elizabeth said...

Very cute ! Happy Birthday, Bonnie !

Sincerely,
Anne Elizabeth

Theresa said...

Happy Birthday...hope you have a great one, and get a good one!

Theresa

MaggieDear said...

Happy Birthday, Bonnie!

Lily said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie.

Take care,

Luv,

Lily.

Paul said...

Happy birthday Bonnie, and many more in health and happiness.
I'm certain of a chuckle when I visit MBS.
Big birthday hug.
Paul.

Mitch said...

I bring you banjo's bare Baottom Spanking, and its wonderful art. Still, it does bring up theimage of dualing banjos.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/banjos_bbs/

Happy Birthday, Bonnie!

FelineFrisky said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie! How many spanks? D :}

anna said...

Happy Birthday!!!

jujubees1 said...

Shit, how many friends do you have girl??

Happy Birthday!

tulsa said...

Happy Birthday!!!

I hope you have a great day, and that your behind lights up like birthday candles :)

Bonnie said...

Elis - Nope, that just never works. :D

SNN - That's amazing. The real humor, I think, lies in the improbable fact that these words somehow landed someone here.

Kitten - Welcome back! It's great to hear from you!

kk - We are, I promise you.

Todd and Suzy - Thank you so much!

Katie - Thanks! My spankings today have been very happy ones.

Eva - Thank you!

Little - It's been a fine day indeed, and hear from all of you makes it even better.

Donald - Happy birthday to you as well. *I* hope you're having as much fun as we are!

Anon - Thanks.

Tom - Thank you twice!

Danielle - Please be my guest! Thanks.

Tigger Too - Thanks!

Sky - I'm glad you enjoyed it. I always get a kick out of those search words.

Kayley - Thanks!

Jo - That's so sweet. Thank you!

Dante - Um, right?!

Padme - Thank you for the splendid birthday greeting. All the spankings I want? I think I've taken all the birthday spankings I can stand (and I will be standing too!).

Tiggr - You assume correctly. I received a number of excellent gifts that I will discuss as time and energy permit.

Anne - Many thanks!

Theresa - It's been wonderful, thanks in part to all of you.

Maggie - Wow, everybody's here! Thanks.

Lily - Thanks!

Paul - Thank you, dear friend!

Mitch - Aha! Now I get it. Thank you.

BTW, I seriously considered an alternative comment that involved squealing like a pig.

D - A whole bunch, let me tell you!

Anna - Thanks for stopping by and offering birthday wishes!

Jujubees - I can assure you that I am most grateful for every one! Thank you.

Tulsa - Thanks. I believe we have achieved full illumination!

CeeCi said...

Bonnie::

Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday, Beautiful Bonnie!
Happy Birthday to You!

May this year be filled with blessings and happiness, good times and happy laughter. May your bottom be rosy and your neighbors not nosy!!

I hope you had a special day of celebrating You.

**Big Hugs**
♥ CeeCi

Loved the keyword searches, they seem to be getting stranger!! *g*

rivka said...

Happy Birthday!!

Lol... those were great.

Edward said...

Holy crap thats just to funny I did a google search using your key words.My bottom smarts came up every time!!How some of the results relate to your blog is beyond me.Anyway happy B day hope it was a good one for you.

Grace said...

Happy belated...geez, why am I always the last one???

I hope you had a great birthday. I hope you got plenty of spankings. I love the new paddle, Dante really outdid himself.

Your post is just fun to read. I may go back and read it again.

HUGS!
grace

Bonnie said...

CeeCi - Thank you, dear friend. I don't know about the neighbors, but I'm definitely holding up my end of the bargain! We had a delightful day.

Rivka - Thanks (twice)!

Edward - Thanks. The seemingly random nature of the words is what makes this exercise so much fun. Some of the combinations simply beg for parody (and, of course I'm a sucker for that sort of begging!).

Grace - It really was a great birthday. Thank you!

Bethie said...

Happy Belated Birthday! Sorry I'm so late to the party but I've been away and am trying desperately to catch up. I can't wait to hear how the birthday spanking went! ;-)

Bonnie said...

Bethie - Early or late, you're always welcome here! Thank you.

I'll be posting the birthday stories next week.

Mary said...

Please not on my bare has NEVER once worked for me! A totally pointless plea. YET.....we all try

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