Saturday, April 29, 2006

Paddle Slogans Revisited

Most spankos are familiar with the novelty paddles from days gone by. They were inscribed with cute slogans such as "Heat for the Seat," "Attitude Adjuster" or "Board of Education." They were sold at tourist traps and stores along the highway. Even as a kid, I always thought these paddles were very cool.

However, a new millennium calls for some updated paddle slogans. Here are some phrases I would love to see embossed on a spanking implement:
  1. I Bend for Blisters

  2. The Truth Hurts

  3. Light My Fire

  4. Plan 'B'

  5. Blush for the Other Cheeks

  6. Ye Olde Bottom Burner

  7. The Motivator

  8. Whack Therapy

  9. My Inspiration

  10. Magic Marker

  11. The Peacemaker

  12. OTK is A-OK

  13. Better than Arguing

  14. The Great Communicator

  15. Swing Until You Sting

  16. Sitting is Overrated

  17. My Special Reminder

  18. The Ouch Express

  19. Spanko's Delight

  20. Non-Prescription Stress Relief
I make no claim to these slogans. If any resourceful woodsmith wants to actually create and sell these awesome paddles, please use the slogans with my best wishes. After all, the world needs more spanking implements with clever slogans.

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Anonymous said...

Love those, Bonnie!!!


Paul said...

Perhaps Bonnie;this paddle is addictive, with short term side effects.

Anonymous said...

Seat Heater

Evan said...

I had a paddle made for a friend to use on me. the inscription I wrote for it:
"For best results,
Apply frequently!"

justin payne said...

how about: i feel your pain

Anonymous said...

love those slogans..... how about "BRAT TAMER"

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