I doubt I'd enjoy receiving swats with that big paddle, but the lettering brings back strong memories. When I was a girl on vacation with my family, I was always on the lookout for roadside trinket stands and gift shops aimed at tourists. I had my mom convinced that I liked to collect little porcelain thimbles with pictures of different places. In those days, these souvenir shops often sold novelty paddles. These were small wooden paddles with clever or jokey spanking-related slogans imprinted. The paddles read, "Board of Education" or "Frontier Tail Blazer" "Heat for the Seat" or "For the Little Deer with the Bear Bottom." My favorite, though, was the "Attitude Adjuster."
I lay awake in bed many nights wondering what it must feel like to get a real spanking with the Attitude Adjuster. I wanted to be OTK. I knew that much. I pictured my spanker as an anonymous man, maybe like a boyfriend but more superficial. This desire wasn't sexual, until one day when it was. I have always been a spanko, but studying each paddle displayed on the shelf gave focus to my young cravings. I needed my attitude adjusted.
I tried so hard to look at the paddles while not looking at them. I memorized every detail. I wanted to buy one of those paddles. In my imagination, I wanted to buy them all and take them home and hide them somewhere so no one else would know. At least, I wanted to pick up a paddle and see how it felt in my hands. I couldn't. Too embarrassing. What if someone saw me and realized how I really am? I briefly pondered slapping my butt just once, not very hard, just to test. No, of course I didn't do that. What if I slipped one under my skirt? No. That would be stealing. But I still desperately wanted a spanking paddle.
The punchline of this story, if you haven't already guessed, is that those novelty paddles were just that. Worth a giggle hanging on the wall and an excellent spanko freak flag. But not a viable spanking implement. They were constructed of thin, soft pine. As a lifelong spankee, I am amused when an implement is broken over my bottom. But when my long awaited moment of revelation finally arrived, it wasn't even fair. Just a few decent swats and the sad little paddle was reduced to kindling. So much for that dream...
Have a wonderful weekend!
15 comments :
This was fun to read Bonnie. Not sure I would enjoy the attitude adjuster either! I have rarely come across novelty paddles. They are fun, but just that.
Hugs
Roz
I remember seeing those paddles too, and feeling embarrassed about looking at them. You're right about the durability. Their best use is being displayed as a warning.
Hugs,
Hermione
Roz - As times have changed, those paddles have disappeared from gift shops. I guess people thought they were intended for use on children, which of course we don't condone. Adults, however, are still free to enjoy the fun if we can find one.
Hermione - I remember thinking about having a spanking paddle conspicuously hanging on the wall and screaming out to all who entered the room, "Someone is getting spanked." I wanted that someone to be me. But in those early years, this fantasy lived only in my fertile mind.
Paddles were less common in the UK but a table tennis bat was often used on my bottom by my mother when I was a teenager. Janice
As a matter of curiosity, what wood was traditionally used, in the USA, for the construction of those school type paddles?
Prefectdt
Yes, there are certain words that express something to our spanko ego that just gets one excited just hearing them and then imagining you are in that situation.I also loved road trips to find those little souvenir paddles and every once in a while find a partner that would allow her bottom to feel a couple of swats of the paddle.great story .of course you can always just build a shed and say it is a woodshed and even designate a room to be a woodshed even if it is just a comfortable couch in front of the fireplace.Thanks for all you share and all the blogs you research.I was quite pleased to know that mine made Bonnie's list.have a great day
Jim
Wow Bonnie, this really hit home to the point that I can no longer remain silent as a daily visitor (lurker) for many years! I also recall vacation road trips as a young teenager and visiting such tourist traps. I would browse slowly from the bumper stickers, key chains and shot glasses until discovering the wooden boxes, signs, and "accidently" of course, the novelty paddles! Although my pulse would be racing and strange feeling of excitement built up inside me, I did not want to be caught staring, so I would lurk nearby as long as possible.My best tourist trap memory was in the souvenir section while visiting the Ponderosa Ranch where Bonanza was filmed in Lake Tahoe. A heavy set older (early 30s!) woman was inspecting the humourous paddle items while reading the captions out loud with a hearty chuckle! I am sure the fact that I retain this memory proves I am True Spanko!
Having been taken to the 'Woodshed' I would think twice. Visiting my Mother-in-law, lived on a farm, had a 'Woodshed' for wood. I was not really into visiting, my wife knew, and was not happy. My attitude, behavior reflected that and my mother-in-law sternly said my house, my rules, knowing I'm spanked said I do the spankings. I heard Woodshed, and with a grip on my arm taken to, a part of the shed was clear of wood, a chair stood out. Told to undress, I looked at her, and soon was naked, pleading, only to be over her lap and the paddle in the shed getting my attention. Taken back to the house, naked, red bottom on display, could not get back soon enough. Jack
Janice - Yes, those can work well, especially the better models that are a bit more substantial.
Prefectdt - Hardwoods in most cases, typically oak or maple, but many other variations can be purchased today.
Jim - It seems the appeal of trinket store paddles is more common than I realized. Then again, MBS readers are more inclined to be attracted to such items.
As for the shed, I doubt it will happen with local building codes and all, but I can dream. How cool would it be to write a story for the blog entitled, "My Trip to the Woodshed?" It's a story I wish I could tell as a eye witness and participant.
Anon - Wow indeed. Welcome emerging lurker! I'm pleased that I was able to strike just the right chord to draw you out. Your description of browsing through the assorted knick-knacks and bric-a-brac matches my own experience.
Hopefully, the Ponderosa woman bought one and took it home. True spankos do indeed retain these foundational memories, even decades later. So, yeah, I believe you qualify! :)
Jack - If I earn a punishment, I'm willing to accept it. It certainly wouldn't be the first time. Being taken out to the woodshed is such a classic punishment ritual. I fully realize that spankings are painful and the walk of shame is embarrassing, but these are integral parts of the experience. I wish I could say I lived this fantasy and survived to tell the tale.
Thanks, Bonnie. All I found with internet searches was a school in Florida, where the students were making paddles for the school, from Ash, in lesson time.
Prefectdt
Prefectdt - Ash is an interesting choice. It’s sturdy but flexible. Ash was traditionally used for baseball bats and guitar bodies. Unfortunately, an accidentally introduced Asian beetle has killed millions of ash trees in North America. As a result, its availability is limited.
Ash die back has trashed the European population of Ash trees. It is a difficult wood to get hold of in these parts, now.
Prefectdt
Great story about the trinkets.
I don’t remember seeing such things when traveling as a kid, but I remember being fascinated (and embarrassed) in Department stores around lingerie. A few years later I would make a point of walking past all the bras and panties. Now, I like to buy the right stuff for my wife and am happy to talk to the saleswomen.
My parents took me to see “The Graduate” when I was 11 or 12. A girl I liked happened to be sitting right behind me. Ann Bancroft was so sexy, but my mother’s age - jeez Louise!
Rosco
Rosco - Thank you for sharing your experiences. My husband is another lingerie fan. He talks about similar experiences as a kid when the Sears and Roebuck catalog arrived.
Today, he buys all my panties, bras, and sleepwear. I am happy to model them for him because he enjoys that and it usually ends in something fun.
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