I doubt I'd enjoy receiving swats with that big paddle, but the lettering brings back strong memories. When I was a girl on vacation with my family, I was always on the lookout for roadside trinket stands and gift shops aimed at tourists. I had my mom convinced that I liked to collect little porcelain thimbles with pictures of different places. In those days, these souvenir shops often sold novelty paddles. These were small wooden paddles with clever or jokey spanking-related slogans imprinted. The paddles read, "Board of Education" or "Frontier Tail Blazer" "Heat for the Seat" or "For the Little Deer with the Bear Bottom." My favorite, though, was the "Attitude Adjuster."
I lay awake in bed many nights wondering what it must feel like to get a real spanking with the Attitude Adjuster. I wanted to be OTK. I knew that much. I pictured my spanker as an anonymous man, maybe like a boyfriend but more superficial. This desire wasn't sexual, until one day when it was. I have always been a spanko, but studying each paddle displayed on the shelf gave focus to my young cravings. I needed my attitude adjusted.
I tried so hard to look at the paddles while not looking at them. I memorized every detail. I wanted to buy one of those paddles. In my imagination, I wanted to buy them all and take them home and hide them somewhere so no one else would know. At least, I wanted to pick up a paddle and see how it felt in my hands. I couldn't. Too embarrassing. What if someone saw me and realized how I really am? I briefly pondered slapping my butt just once, not very hard, just to test. No, of course I didn't do that. What if I slipped one under my skirt? No. That would be stealing. But I still desperately wanted a spanking paddle.
The punchline of this story, if you haven't already guessed, is that those novelty paddles were just that. Worth a giggle hanging on the wall and an excellent spanko freak flag. But not a viable spanking implement. They were constructed of thin, soft pine. As a lifelong spankee, I am amused when an implement is broken over my bottom. But when my long awaited moment of revelation finally arrived, it wasn't even fair. Just a few decent swats and the sad little paddle was reduced to kindling. So much for that dream...
Have a wonderful weekend!
