Monday, July 18, 2022

Who’s Crazy?

Let’s play a new game. It’s called “Who’s Crazy?” Our contestants this week are my dear husband Randy and me.

On Friday evenings, we celebrate our pretty-much-hopefully-weekly OTK spanking ritual. You know how that goes. He whacks my butt and I say ouch a lot. It’s good. But sometimes, there’s more…

I was in my usual face-down position, receiving all he had to offer, and mostly holding my own, I thought. Then the heat stopped cold. The whacking ended suddenly and without any warning. What? Was he injured? Was I? Did the paddle break? Was it something I did? I tried to twist my neck around in hopes of detecting the nature of the mishap, but to no avail. He just left me there atop his lap. Well used but not excused. I just didn’t know. Why should he stop now?

My love squeezed the top of my right hip near my waist using his left hand. “This is sheer perfection,” he exclaimed as if struck with a bolt of revelation from the beyond. His words seemed like an ideal straight line, but for once, curiosity and confusion prevented me from attempting a clever comeback. I had no clue what he meant.

“Perfection.”

“Huh?” I’m the one who gets to visit subspace, not him. “Have you been eating gummies?”

“No. No. Your body. Nature and evolution have thought of everything.”

“Everything except how to not pee myself.”

(ignoring my rebuttal) “Look at this.” He tightened his hold on my side, slipping his hand inside the waistband of my thong. “You have this kind of notch where your hips meet your torso. It provides a great handhold to keep you right in place while I’m spanking you.”

“That’s your revelation?” (you stopped our spanking for this?)

“I can paddle your butt, even hard,” (demonstrates) “…and you can’t go anywhere”

“Ow!”

“Because I have the perfect grip.” His left arm pulled me in tighter.

I decided this would be an inopportune moment to remind him about certain members of his family who possess only an ephemeral grip on reality, especially when he was still holding the paddle. I’ve heard his theory of spanko natural selection for years, and it doesn’t make any more sense with subsequent retellings.

He thinks my ancestors must have had predilections that led to mating choices that, over many generations, favored female bodies with large, round, wide bottoms. His evidence is that my mother, me, our daughter, and her daughter all have the same protruding posterior.

“Small sample size,” I informed our resident engineer. Statistics was never his favorite subject.

“But look at it…”

“I can’t look at it. It’s in back of me.”

“You know what I mean.”

I didn’t know what he meant and still don’t. But in his mind, I think he was paying me a compliment while crediting the good taste of my ancestors. Finally, I had heard enough.

“Are you going to spank me or are you going to let me up?”

That was all the reminder he needed. He spanked me.

So, what do you think?     Who’s crazy?

11 comments :

PK said...

Definitely both which is why you are perfect for one another!

Jean Marie said...

I love what PK just said, and I love this post!
It seems to me that it's the yin and yang between Top & bottom, male & female. The Top is enjoying every aspect of the spanking, meanwhile we want to get it over with, it hurts, and what comes after (cuddling & love-making) seems the goal to get to. You are a practical woman, Bonnie, and Randy seems like the Greek ideal of a philosopher-king. Like PK alluded to, we are so different from one another, but that's what makes for a zesty match!

Anonymous said...

Both, delightfully so.

SPANKEDHORTIC II said...

Until sometime in the 1990s, you were both sectionable under the mental health act in the UK. The legal situation in the USA, I don't know. Is there a lawyer in the comments box? :)

Prefectdt

Bonnie said...

PK - That may be. I guess.

Jean Marie - Yes, we are definitely different but complementary. I am a practical woman and *I* think that's a good thing. But somehow I keep getting spanked for it!

Anon - I guess if we're going crazy, we might as well have fun with it.

Prefectdt - I hope I don't need a lawyer to make love with my husband at home. Fortunately, our state laws are fairly open minded.

Roz said...

I love this exchange Bonnie. How about crazily right for each other :)

Hugs
Roz

Anonymous said...

sounds like a wonderful spanking! Prolonged, dialogue, and having fun while you are being spanked. You should have tried a slightly funny, but also slightly rude comment, to increase the level of the intensity of the spanking. Fun to read
bottoms up
Red

Bonnie said...

Roz - That's a sweet way to say it. I suppose you and PK are right.

Red - Yes, this was a good one. I'm glad we recorded the event so I didn't have to try to remember it all. As for the spicy comment, my last question yielded precisely the response you suggest.

Rich Person said...

I'm pretty sure it really is perfect.

Hermione said...

How very insightful of you to record the conversation. You never know when a spanking might lead to a good blog post.

Hugs,
Hermione

Bonnie said...

RP - Thank you. It was certainly an interesting discussion.

Hermione - We've learned a few lessons along the journey.. My reporter's memory isn't what it once was, especially when Randy is spanking me!

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