As I write this, it’s Saturday morning and I’m sitting upon an achy, itchy, squirmy very well spanked bottom. I got spanked and it was a hard one. I can handle that part. What is more challenging for me are the psychological aspects of this spanking. Here’s what I mean.
Friday is our favorite spanking night and we have a standing date. So I knew it was coming, just not the details. After Randy finished work for the day, he instructed me to wait for him in the bedroom. I complied. He already had his cameras, microphones, and lights set up.
When he walked in, he quickly located the solid wooden dogleg brush. I associate that implement with serious spankings. He sat on the edge of the bed and beckoned me to join him. I took my place face down across his lap in the traditional corporal punishment position.
My Prince lifted the hem of my dress to reveal the bare skin of his target. He gently caressed my soft flesh with the cool, smooth, oval-shaped back of the brush. He snapped the waistband of my thong, presumably because he could. His left hand was then fastened to my waist to keep me in place.
“We’re going to play ‘Uncle” tonight.” I remembered this game, and not particularly fondly. This has nothing to do with your mother’s goofy younger brother who sent offbeat gifts for holidays that only he celebrated. No, this uncle is a whole different trip.
Uncle, he reminded me, is a spanking game where he whacks my bottom until I concede by exclaiming, “Uncle.” I think this arrangement violates the basic tenets of our spanking relationship. He is supposed to be in control and decide when a spanking is over. Spankings should be positive experiences that we share together, not any sort of competition. I didn’t like this, and I told him so.
Randy noted my objections, but continued with his preparations. It kind of made me mad, having to take a spanking and be in control at the same time. I resolved to show him. And so, the trap was sprung.
“Just call ‘Uncle’ when you’ve had enough and I’ll stop,” He counseled me. Forget that, I thought. I’m not saying it.
And I didn’t! He swatted long and hard, over and over, with that cursed brush before eventually declaring my bottom to be too damaged to continue. He was worried that my skin would break, and I appreciate his concern. Yet, I hate that we had to get to this point. The cause was his insistence upon playing this dumb game and my bullheadedness and competitive streak. Boy it hurt!
We reconciled soon thereafter in the best possible way, but I am stuck with all these feelings. I know he didn’t mean for it to go that far. Randy just wanted, as he often does, to change things up.
I’m trying to figure out why I acted as I did. Had I just played along and called “Uncle” earlier in the proceedings, we would have had a nice toasty Friday evening spanking session. But I got ticked and stubborn. I wanted to prove to both of us how tough I am. Even more, I wanted to prove that I need him to be in control. Ultimately, that’s pretty much how it played out. I made my point, but in the process, I earned and received a well-deserved punishment spanking for my stubbornness.
Maybe that’s justice or as close as we’re going to get this weekend.
15 comments :
I feel that your inner brat might have had a hand in controlling your attitude. :)
Prefectdt
Prefectdt - That's as good an explanation as any! You might be right.
An unstoppable force meets an immovable object! The whole "game" seems antithetical to the idea of subspace in general and your dynamic in particular, I'm not surprised it ended unsatisfactorially. Glad it didn't stop you having more fun later!
TTL - Yes, exactly!
Hi Bonnie, I'm sorry things played out this way and glad you reconciled afterwards in the best way. I think I can understand your reluctance, this does seem to go against what I understand of your dynamic.
Hugs
Roz
Roz - Thanks. I think the fundamental question is how far is it reasonable to go in the name of introducing variety and keeping things fresh? I guess my answer is that there are some aspects of our relationship that better left as they are.
When I was reading this my first - knee jerk reaction - was "I'd call "Uncle" after the first hit..... If I didn't do that - I'd do exactly what you did - refuse to call it all. I get what Randy was trying to do maybe he'll find another way to change things up?
I was thinking along the lines Morningstar did. If that's not a game you want to play, take the first swat and say uncle. That's just basically saying 'I'm not playing.' Whenever this happened to me, when I had the control, it just spoiled the whole experience for me.
MS - That's a brilliant solution and I wish I had thought of it. I can't fault Randy. He goes to great lengths to keep our spankings interesting, new, and fun. It's natural that some ideas work out better than others. And if given the choice (I'm not), I'd prefer all of them them to none.
PK - My nature and years of practice condition me to play along and see what happens. I was resentful about the game in that moment, but I wasn't opposed to receiving a spanking. I just wanted him to run the show.
Well, it looks like everything I'd say has been said, so I'll just nod and write: "what they all said". ;-)
KD - Thank you for stopping by!
Maybe you could take the meta-position that he was in control by setting the rules.
Perhaps a more enticing game (for you) might be one I've "played". I set up a chair and designated a line in front of the chair on the floor. Then, I had my girl kneel at the other side of the room, where she could see the line and the chair.
I sat in the chair and told her to come stand on the line when she was ready to be spanked. She did that, I spanked her, and then I sent her back to kneel until she was ready to be spanked some more.
When I decided she'd had enough spanking, I started to use the paddle.
Eventually, we had a satisfactory finish.
This gave her quite a lot of say in the matter, but I retained control. Maybe Randy could design a set of rules that give you some agency but not ultimate control. That might be interesting, but leave you more satisfied.
RP - That arrangement seems only slightly less problematic. I'm inclined to play along, even when events don't proceed as I might want. But when I have to initiate the action, I am no longer playing along. Thanks for your suggestion.
I think there's something about this that has to do with giving up responsibility. Giving you the responsibility to take action has some deeper meaning, which seems to make it undesirable for you. So, I'd suggest exploring that aspect.
In fact, I think a lot of people crave submission because it allows them to give up responsibility for what takes place. That can be a deep underlying factor, and determines for them what works and what doesn't.
In any case, I hope you get a better resolution for this some day.
Hi, there. I'm new here in having just come out of the closet with my spanking kink. I know nothing. Just trying to figure it out from blogs etc. My own pattern with my partner is a rare type, close to a 100% egalitarian relationship--which has its own issues, as we do have to negotiate lots of stuff that's already settled for couples with more fixed roles.
But it strikes me that there are often issues with topping and bottoming. People discuss topping from the bottom--but never bottoming from the top--as if it's verboten and not ever even spoken of, much less done. But what if tops want to bottom sometimes? Like maybe
Randy and other dominants sometimes want to--Perish the thought--know what their partners needs are--know when their partner has had enough spanking right then at the time--instead of having to read about it in their partner's blog later. Is that not allowed because he's expected to be dominant whether he likes it or not? Does he have to be clairvoyant and know when his partner has had enough? Or be such a big time sadist that he doesn't even care if his partner has had enough and just goes on spanking until they both end up in the emergency room because she's injured?
If he wants to know when his partner has had enough spanking, does he have to be indirect about it and make up an "uncle" game to find out? And then does it backfire anyway, because his partner insists on always playing the submissive role and giving all the control to him over when the spanking ends?
Sorry if this sounds critical. I am honestly asking, wondering about this not just for Randy and you but for all couples who have these kinds of roles. As I say, my relationship is of a different pattern, and I've just come out of the closet about spanking, so I know nothing about this. That's why I ask questions.
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