A Conversation With Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts

As I was researching the history of this blog, I uncovered a few interesting items that never appeared here. I was interviewed by Season and Michael for the Blossom and Thorn blog in May, 2011. Their wonderful blog is sadly gone, but this fun interview survives.

Bonnie’s iconic blog, My Bottom Smarts, debuted almost six years ago and quickly became the “go to” blog in our community. From helping newbies learn the ropes to connecting bloggers to each other, MBS is the place to be for real-life stories, fiction, humor, informative articles, links to spanking new blogs and for insightful spanking advice and questions that elicit a vast array of opinions. We consider Bonnie the mother of our community – except this mommy is the one who gets spanked – who nurtures, comforts and guides all us spankos, and who helps bloggers whether just starting out or already fully established. Bonnie helped us at both these junctures in the development of Blossom and Thorn. We thought it would be fun to find out a little more about her.

We know the idea of interviewing members of our community isn’t a new one, but we thought it would be fun to give it a whirl. In our online world there exist a myriad of people who enjoy spanking in many forms; Tops/bottoms, Dom or Domme/sub, Master/slave and switches. There are writers, artists, actors, actresses, videographers, photographers and bloggers. Some of these talented people blur the lines and engage in a combination of these pursuits. Some sites like Dave’s wonderful Cherry Red Report conduct insightful interviews with some of these marvelously creative people for the most part concentrating on models, actors and actresses. We greatly enjoy these interviews as we learn not only about these people but also more about our community in particular and life in general.

We don’t have the break down but it may be that bloggers are the most numerous of the these creative people. Some sources say the term WebLog (later shortened to “blog”) was coined by John Barger in 1997 and the primary function of a blog was to serve as a list of links to websites, articles, and news, along with commentary by way of being a web tour guide. Blogs have evolved far beyond their original purpose and since bloggers make such an important contribution to our community it would be beneficial to learn a little more about them through the spotlight of an interview.

So without further ado let’s hear from the gracious lady in her own words.

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Season & Michael: Welcome Bonnie, and thank you for taking the time to talk with us. What inspired you to start your blog, My Bottom Smarts?

Bonnie: It’s a pleasure to be here. I began MBS as a showcase for spanking stories I had written over the previous ten years or so. I saw what other bloggers were doing at the time and thought I could add something to the community. Also, knowing how beneficial spanking has been to our relationship, I wanted to share what I had learned.

S&M: You have more than added to our community, you have been the inspirational hostess that welcomed many of us in. At the time you began MBS about how many other spanking blogs do you think were out here? What blogs did you routinely visit before starting your own?

Bonnie: Even then, the spanko blogging community was quite substantial. I imagine there were 40-50 regularly updated blogs. Of these, I was a regular at perhaps a dozen. Most of these blogs are gone or abandoned today. Two that are not are Spanking Blog and Angelbrat.

S&M: How did you come up with the title, My Bottom Smarts?

Bonnie: I was trying to be clever. It’s a quadruple entendre. Bottom can mean one who is spanked or the part of the body that receives the spanking. Smarts can refer to the discomfort resulting from a spanking or the wisdom one obtains through first hand experience. Therefore, any of the four combinations might describe the content of my blog.

S&M: Quadruple entendre! Very clever indeed. You are definitely one smart bottom! If we met you on the street, what would be our first impression?

Bonnie: My physical appearance is fairly unremarkable. I think I look pretty good as grandmothers go. I’m curvy in a pearish sort of way. Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t routinely leave the house in a pleated, plaid miniskirt. I am more inclined to wear comfortable jeans and a cotton top. Unless you know me well, you will probably miss the significance of the smile on my face and the gleam in my eye.

S&M: What a lovely picture you paint. That gleam in your eye bespeaks fun and sexy mischief. Not your typical grandmother. Your first blog post was published September 24, 2005. Did you anticipate the success and longevity of MBS?

Bonnie: (laughing) No, absolutely not! I figured that I would get tired of blogging or run out of material after a few months. Those things didn’t happen, so here I am still blogging in 2011.

S&M: Since MBS is still going strong we assume doing the blog is still fun and creative, how long do you see MBS running?

Bonnie: My relationship with the blog has evolved over time, but we’re still on good terms. I sometimes lament the fact that I now spend more time and energy on the administrative side of blogging than I do creating new original content. Answering e-mails and chasing down links isn’t glamorous, but it’s more beneficial than anything else I can do for this community I love.

There will undoubted come a day when I decide to leave the blogging world behind. Nothing can last forever, least of all a blog. But I can assure you that day is not today, tomorrow, or the day after.

S&M: Bonnie, we along with many others hope that departure day is far, FAR in the future. What was your most controversial posting?

Bonnie: There have been a few occasions when disputes arose within our community. I tried to wade into the mire in hopes of encouraging peace. There are a couple of people who still don’t speak to me. I regret that, but I feel that my intentions were good.

S&M: Bonnie, it is disheartening to be misunderstood but it is clear to us your intentions are always good. Now, what was your most favorite posting?

Bonnie: Oh my. I have lots of favorites. I think the brunch is rather unique and In with the New has helped a lot of bloggers to get established. The spanking accounts are special because we lived them. But in terms of an achievement, I guess I would have to point to two fictional works. As a journalist and technical writer, I am trained to describe people and events in the here and now. This sort of writing comes easily for me. Authoring fiction forces me to leave my comfort zone and exercise creative muscles that otherwise don’t get much work.

The Sphere was a spanko science fiction short story. I’ve never written anything like it before or since. The Spanking Booth was a one-act stage play. In the former, I constructed a complex future environment. In the latter, character development was critical to telling the story. I consider both to be high water marks for my fictional writing.

I never realized until today that I gave the lead character in both stories the same name!

S&M: And that name would be Karen. Maybe she’ll be involved in more stories in the near future. What’s the weirdest question you’ve been asked?

Bonnie: As documented in my Ask Bonnie and Mailbag posts, readers ask me some very bizarre questions. I think my favorite might be, “What’s it like to be a girl?” I wanted to respond that I was bound by a solemn oath to never disclose my feminine secrets. I think I actually told him that I have no basis for comparison.

S&M: LOL! Next someone will ask you to reveal why women always go to the Ladies Room in groups! Your first Spanko Brunch was on January 22, 2006 entitled Your Turn. This feature is still going strong as you approach your 300th brunch. To what do you attribute the popularity of the brunches?

Bonnie: If I knew the formula, I can assure you I would do it again! Seriously, I think readers enjoy being a part of the blog. Brunches allow them to share their thoughts, insights, and experiences with a large, supportive audience. I have long believed that while I am the publisher, My Bottom Smarts belongs to the community. The brunch is the most obvious example of that relationship.

S&M: “…My Bottom Smarts belongs to the community…” It does feel that way! Originally, MBS contained more of your real life stories and fiction. Why have you moved away from this?

Bonnie: (Sigh) There are only so many hours per week I can dedicate to the blog. I love the stories too, but they require a solid block of interrupted time. As I mentioned above, I now spend a lot more time on the administrative aspects of blogging. I am not at a loss for inspiration. I just need to find more time to write.

S&M: Bonnie, we wish you had an eighth day in the week for your writing. You describe the type of spanking you like as “…the fun, sexy, exciting kind! My husband reddens my bottom and I love it…” You further state “…spanking and lovemaking. To me, these two activities are permanently linked. I can barely conceive of one without the other.” So, Bonnie, your husband Randy has never given you a disciplinary spanking?

Bonnie: I know I’m jumping to the next question here, but we don’t generally label our spankings (or ourselves). There may be one spanking intended for stress relief or another as pure play, but for the most part, they are what they are. I am submissive to Randy and as such, I grant him my blanket permission to spank regardless of reason. If he called it disciplinary, I would accept it. If a spanking were disciplinary and he called it something else (or nothing at all), I would still take it. There have been numerous occasions when he had a point to make and he chose to do so by vigorously applying a paddle to my bottom. Is that discipline? Does it matter?

And would it be sexy? In a word, yes. If not at that moment then surely shortly afterward. His strength, as demonstrated through spankings, is a huge turn-on for me.

S&M: So true, Bonnie, “Does it matter?” so very true. In one of your early MBS polls – What’s Your Label? from December 11, 2005 – you asked readers to describe their spanking lifestyle. The choices given were Spanko, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism, Master/Slave, Total Power Exchange and Bondage & Discipline. Bonnie, what is your label?

Bonnie: If I have to accept a label, it would be spanko with a pinch of D/s. I’m not particularly drawn to most other fetishes. Randy, on the other hand, is quite the kinky omnivore. Much of our imaginative role play springs from his deviant imagination.

S&M: Randy sounds like an amazing man and partner. How did Love Our Lurkers Day come about?

Bonnie: I adapted the idea from a post I saw on a vanilla blog. Anyone who blogs knows from their statistics that the vast majority of readers never comment. I was (and remain) curious about these people. Are they like the readers I know or are they different in some way? Are they simply shy or do they have another reason to remain in the shadows? In answering those questions, LOL Day has produced many wonderful friendships and grown beyond anything I imagined.

S&M: LOL Day certainly has grown to become a big part of our spanking community. Every few weeks you publish a list of new blogs. How do you find and keep up with all these new additions?

Bonnie: I have several techniques including search engines, links on friends’ blogs, and links to my blog. Sometimes, bloggers or readers will write me and suggest a blog. I keep a list and when it reaches ten to twelve, I publish an In with the New post.

S&M: Who among spanko bloggers do you particularly admire?

Bonnie: It’s a long list and I cannot mention everyone, but here are ten obvious highlights.

• Chross – He has the one blog that everyone reads


• Erica – A superbly written chronicle of a fascinating life


• Richard Windsor – Perhaps the ultimate spanko insider


• Pixie – Clearly the best of the model blogs


• Hermione – How does she post quality content every day?


• Devlin and Poppy – The best running dialog


• The Spanking Writers – So literate, so thought provoking, so deliciously kinky


• Kelley, the Spanked Princess – Oh, to be young, smart, beautiful, and spanko


• Todd and Suzy – Seeing, experiencing, and sharing everything spanking


• Sara (Finding Sara) – A cerebral, insightful view of domestic discipline

For anyone I omitted, please know that it was an unintended oversight.

S&M: An amazing group of people whom we also admire. Now for some fun questions. What is your favorite spanking position?

Bonnie: Most of the time, I prefer to lie across Randy’s lap. The physical contact between us makes it feel more intimate than other positions. He generally sits at the edge of the bed such that my upper body and legs are supported. Other than the obvious pain of being spanked, it’s a very comfortable position.

S&M: What is your favorite implement?

Bonnie: My standard answer is, “whatever is in Randy’s hand.” But that’s a cop-out. My tastes change over time, but right now I am enamored with a small leather paddle we bought many years ago from Adam and Gillian. At this moment, it is hanging from a hook on the wall next to our bed.

S&M: Hated implement?

Bonnie: Randy has a monster wooden paddle we call the Mother of All Paddles. It is seldom used because it’s too heavy for any sort of normal play. I prefer to think of it as a prop.

S&M: That sounds quite formidable, the Mother of All Paddles! Can you please describe your perfect spanking evening?

Bonnie: We had a brunch on that topic several years ago. I’ll stick with that answer.

S&M: How and when did you reveal your spanking passion to Randy? What advice would you give to people when they tell this most intimate secret to their partner?

Bonnie: Our situation was perhaps a bit unusual because we discovered our common interest together while playing in bed. You can read about it here.

As for sharing the secret, here’s a tutorial I wrote on the subject.

S&M: Do you ever ask Randy for a spanking?

Bonnie: Yes. I have asked directly before. But more often, I employ one of our pre-arranged non-verbal signals such as setting out an implement or wearing a thong to bed. These techniques work every time, sometimes better than I anticipated!

S&M: Have you ever quit spanking for a time?

Bonnie: Not really. We didn’t spank during my pregnancy, but that was Randy’s choice. I needed it, perhaps more than ever, but he was not inclined to accommodate. As with most activities, our frequency rises and falls based upon everything else happening in our lives. But we don’t quit.

S&M: Bet that first spanking after your pregnancy was memorable. Has a vanilla person ever accidentally learned of your interest in spanking? If so what did you say to this person?

Bonnie: Yes, it has happened several times, and I don’t recall saying anything. I’m sure I was red at both ends.

S&M: Blushing at both ends, so lovely, Bonnie. If every spanko in our community were to read a post on MBS, what would be your specific topic?

Bonnie: That’s a difficult question. I doubt that I could hold the interest of everyone with any single post. We’re such a diverse group.

I have one reader who insists that everyone in spankdom wants to see a photograph of my bare bottom after a hard spanking. I find that unlikely on several levels.

One common thread that runs through MBS is the importance of building and nurturing human relationships. Whether friendship, kinship, camaraderie, or love, these are the girders with which a happy and successful life is constructed. It is people who make our lives meaningful. If we can enrich the life of another, especially when it’s someone close to us, it’s an investment we should make.

From this perspective, consensual adult spanking provides another way to share the experience of life with someone about whom we care. Every day, we have the opportunity to create a positive memory.

S&M: “nurturing human relationships…to create a positive memory.” Your lovely philosophy truly shines through on your blog, Bonnie. If every vanilla person in the world was to read a single post about spanking on MBS what would you tell them?

Bonnie: I contributed a guest post on this topic for my friend’s (mostly) vanilla blog.

S&M: What reason or reasons would you give people to read MBS?

Bonnie: I think it has to begin with a love of spanking. Whether it’s being spanked, spanking someone else, watching spankings, or just contemplating the possibilities, readers come to MBS because they all share this interest. They invest their time reading and commenting because this subject is important to them. I can’t convince someone who is truly vanilla to read my blog. Nor would I want to do so.

One feature we haven’t discussed is the double blogroll. At the risk of bragging, I’ve not seen another spanking blog that contains links that are more relevant, comprehensive, and up to date.

Another differentiating feature is the tutorials. They are normally among the most frequently visited pages in the archive. I am encouraged to know that so many readers are enthusiastic about learning.

S&M: Season says – your tutorials and brunches really helped me out as a newbie, long before I ever felt swat one. You gave me courage.

Bonnie: Now I have a question for you two. I am impressed by the wonderful commenter ecosystem that surrounds your blog. Even a quickie post seems to garner 20 or 30 comments full of interesting and fun exchanges. If the currency of the blogging world is engaged readers, you are both quite wealthy. To what do you attribute this success?

S&M: As you said in your answer about your Brunches, if we knew the formula we’d do it again! We started as contributors on Dev’s blog where the comment section is like a playful forum and that same style seems to have carried over to Blossom and Thorn. We love that commenters speak not only about the post topic but to fellow commenters with the remarks ranging far afield from the original idea. We’re happy that people feel comfortable hanging out here and chatting.


Thank you, Bonnie, for taking the time to answer these questions, and for sharing with the readers. You have truly been an inspiration to both of us, personally and as bloggers. May you and My Bottom Smarts have success well into the future.

And thank you, Season and Michael!