Sunday, August 12, 2018

You Want What?

Randy and I were watching television the other night. He was doing that annoying channel surfing thing that men seem to enjoy. He stopped on a movie channel for just long enough to hear a female character whisper, "I want you to spank me."

"Now we're talking," he declared. "Don't get your hopes up," I cautioned as I had seen the name of the movie displayed. It was Fifty Shades Darker. I've purposely avoided both the books and the films on the recommendation of friends I trust. But we were there and it was on.

After tying her wrists, the male character guided his partner down to the bed where he dramatically delivered exactly four smacks with his hand. Thirty seconds later, the woman was untied and flipped over, and they were having sex.

"What?" I exclaimed. "Four swats?" "He tied her up for that?" Randy concurred. "If you ask me for a spanking, it's going to be more than four wimpy swats." I should certainly hope so.  Maybe the real spanking was edited out for time, or more likely, perhaps there weren't any actual spankos involved with the script/storyboard.  This must be how vanilla people envision kink.

He quickly skipped to the next channel with a disgusted, "Ugh."

Later that evening, I seized the opportunity to repeat the words that had once held so much promise.  "I want you to spank me."  He did, and I can assure you that it was more that four hand swats.

Afterward, we joked that they may have fifty shades of gray, but apparently precious few shades of pink.


Richard Herndon said...

Not a spanko you don't know that is just hello there aren't interested in us they only want to tease the general public

NoraJean said...

I read the books but was not at all a fan of the movies - I cringed watching the first, didn't finish it and didn't watch any of the others so good choice changing the channel ...

I'm sure Randy gave you exactly the spanking you asked for :>) ... nj

Erica Scott said...

So lame. I blogged about the first movie and that ridiculous three-smacker they called a spanking. So now they're up to four smacks? *gasp* I think they should have called the trilogy "Spanking For Dummies."

Fondles said...

I cringed at the books. And got a headache 10 minutes into the first movie. But reviews said that the chemistry in the second and third was better. So i sat and watched all three. It was watchable only if you’re not expecting anything from it. Take it as a regular love story type thing and dismiss all the errors that were made in relation to how d/s is supposed to actually work. And yeah, the spanking and sex scenes were well, a bit meh. Yawn.

Trixie Levesque said...

okie I watched the movies first, then read the 4 books....yes the books do go more in depth, but if they could go completely by what's in the book the FCC would slap it with an X rating an nobody wants that....the books do go in to some of what its like for our lifestyle, but its just a touch.....that's why if your going to get into something like this, please do your good luck finding a ka~zillionaire that does that

Roz said...

Hi Bonnie, I read all of the books but have only seen the first movie. Yep,not much spanking, the books seemed to focus on other aspects of bdsm.


Rich Person said...

If they wanted a movie, they could just make a movie out of Jay's SM 101. At least it would have a real spanking in it.

Hermione said...

Only four? That was hardly worth getting the ropes out.


EsMay said...

It can be a good introduction into the lifestyle to read and watch them, but it honestly is so bare minimum. I think the tying of the hands is more symbolic of control that restraint or keeping her hands from getting in the way. He barely used any force either. And in the same spot all four times. Augh. LOL Yes, definitely need WAY more than 40 for it to be good. :)

kdpierre said...

LOL, but Bonnie, you should have used my 50 Shades cartoon on this very issue to illustrate your post! I would have let you.

Terpsichore said...

four would barely even be a tease... :-)

Minelle Labraun said...

I can’t watch the movies, I just can’t!
I once had someone express their horror of the belt scene in the book. I stopped talking!

Bonnie said...

Richard - Yes, I think you're right.

NJ - On the relatively rare occasions when I ask to be spanked, what I get in return is generally more than I originally envisioned.

Erica - At this rate, they might work their way up to a real spanking after a couple dozen or so more dopey films. I won't be watching.

Fondles - "It was watchable only if you’re not expecting anything from it." We're not setting the bar very high. LOL

Trixie - What's always puzzled me is how these books became so popular in the first place. We have authors in our community (and linked on my blogroll) whose writing skills and story lines are vastly superior. I guarantee any resulting films would be a lot more enjoyable to watch, not to mention genuine.

Roz - OK, fair enough. If we start with the assumption that this film is not about spanking, I guess it's a bit easier to dismiss this strange scene.

RP - I think there are lots of alternative sources from which a better result could emerge. I (still) really want to see a mainstream film that depicts spankos in a realistic and sympathetic manner. It reminds me of how LGBT people were portrayed in the 70s and 80s. These characters do not promote recognition and understanding among the greater populace.

Hermione - It wasn't even ropes. It was a piece of silky fabric. Even so, I agree - what's the point?

ESMay - The binding was definitely a symbol, and in this setting, not out of place. I just can't get over the fact that she asked for a spanking and he went through the motions, but basically failed to give it to her.

KD> - I wish I had thought of that. Thank you!

Terps> - My thoughts exactly!

Minelle - Yes, I don't get the attraction either.

Lea said...

I feel like for nilla folks, the mere thought of this is so abnormal, so kinky in their minds that four smacks and a little restraint is really out there. Pat yourself on the back, and feel good for being "different"

That belt scene... a few coworkers expressed horror over it too... it was all I could do to keep my mouth shut.

wolfman7446 said...

Happy LOL day!!


Desiree Sharpe said...

I totally agree. I sat laughing at your comment, "..this must be how vanilla people view kink." So true. Unreal.

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