Saturday, April 22, 2017

How Not to Meet Women: Tip #587


I'm not sure how much play this story received outside of our region, but there is a moron who is now residing in the Spokane city jail after repeatedly assaulting women in a city park. In a televised confession, Jonathan Smith admitted that he was the "Spokane Spanker." His explanation was, "I saw women’s butts that I liked, and I slapped them for the thrill."

I find this story disturbing on four different levels. These assaults send a message to women that it's not safe for them to be alone in a public park. This is the antithesis of empowerment. Such incidents tend to make women feel fearful and dependent.

Smith said he was trying to be "daring and mischievous, but not malicious." A boyish prank perhaps. There's nothing endearing about sexual assault. We cannot dismiss such actions as a simple misunderstanding. I believe he was either blind to the harm his actions caused or just didn't care. Either way, the result is the same - his victims are shaken and he is incarcerated.

This episode offends me as a lifelong spanko. Spanking, for Randy and me, is a precious expression of our love that is every bit as intimate as coitus. Outside that context and without consent, a sexualized spanking is a profound violation. Our community of responsible, consenting, adult spanking enthusiasts is damaged when the larger public associates us with this sort of story.

The fourth and most unsettling aspect is the dehumanization of women. He referred to his victims in terms of "butts." In his eyes, these were not sentient people with feelings and rights, but rather a collection of body parts jogging down the trail solely for his entertainment. His "thrill" comes at the cost of devaluing someone else.

This story is not about spanking. I adore a good spanking, but there's nothing good here.

Guys, if you're still reading, the key is consent. Had this clown made the effort to talk with women (rather than strike them), he might have discovered interesting people with unique perspectives. And who knows? Under the right circumstances, one of them might be attracted to the idea of a real spanking.

TLDR; Don't be stupid

13 comments :

Michael Healy said...

SO MANY GUYS THINK THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUST SLAP WOMEN ON THE "BUTTS"...NO WRONG ...GUYS LIKE HIM GIVE THE REST OF US SPANKERS A BAD NAME SPANKINGS ARE ABOUT LOVE AND CARING AND RESPECT NOT RUNNING UP TO AN UNEXPECTING FEMALE AND SLAPPING HER ON HER BEHIND WITOUT HER CONSENT

Blondie said...

Great post! I am giving you a standing ovation!

Cat said...

Wow Bonnie...I hadn't heard about this...I agree with every point you made. Hope the courts treat this as sexual assault with appropriate sentencing rather than simple assault. Joining Blonde in a standing ovation.

Hugs and blessings...Cat

Roz said...

Hi Bonnie, I hadn't heard about this either. Great post, I agree entirely with you.

Hugs
Roz

Our Bottoms Burn said...

I have a much different take on this. The man is a wack job. HIs actions were not an assault on women, but on the norms on our culture. His revolting action should not be extended to all men. He may serve 90 days and then he will do something else.

Anonymous said...

As a male who thinks of doing it, learn along time ago, to think twice. Early 20's dating an older woman, late 20's did just that leaving a restaurant. When we got back to her place she let it be known I was out of line. It was the next morning, stepping out of the shower, she said my turn, and over her lap I went and her point was made very clear. So think about it, and think how you would feel before you act.

Leigh Smith said...

I hadn't heard about this, but I would be appalled if it happened to me. It's almost tantamount to a person touching a woman's pregnant belly w/o permission.

Bonnie said...

Michael - I agree. Thanks.

Blondie - Thank you.

Cat - I hope so. I'll be interested to follow this case.

Roz - Thanks!

Bogey - I don't extend his action to all men. There are many fine men and their standing is not in peril. He is a wack job.

Anon - I think that's a good approach.

Leigh - Yes, it is.

Anonymous said...

As a man who is into spanking women, I think that spanking must be consensual. It is for me a strong erotic pleasure when my partner enjoys. Otherwise, it is an agression!

Bob S said...

If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. Maybe that is why he was in a park.

Bonnie said...

Anon #2 - Thanks. I agree with you.

Bob - Now, I hadn't considered that angle. :)

Rich Person said...

Well said, Bonnie!

Hermione said...

Bonnie, I hadn't heard about this, but I find the idea of being slapped on the butt without consent very offensive. It is sexual assault, and every bit as offensive as p****-grabbing.

Hugs,
Hermione

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