Have you experienced a situation where the spankee felt that a spanking was in some way insufficient? If so, did the spankee verbally or non-verbally request more? How was the request made? How did the spanker respond? Was the issue resolved?
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12 comments :
Hi Bonnie,
It's been a long time since I complained about a too brief or too light spanking. When it happened in the past I never complained, because as a submissive I accept whatever my husband chooses to do. But I had other ways of letting him know I could take more.
Setting out several implements for him to use was a way of letting him know he didn't need to stop at one. Expressing admiration for his spanking talent during or after a spanking let him know that I wasn't unhappy or distressed by his actions and that he wasn't overdoing it. I also brought out an hourglass once to use as an indication of when to stop. It ran for 15 minutes. Spankings also tend to last longer when they are not part of foreplay but encounters for their own sake (although lovemaking might follow at a later time).
Ron now continues a spanking for much longer than he used to, and when he's done I am usually ready to stop too.
Not so much now, but in the beginning, there were a few times. I usually tell Steve if I don't feel like it was enough. Most of the time, he did more, but once or twice, he felt like I had already had enough and chose to talk about it instead.
I tend to be very straightforward. The very first time, he was being his usual, gentlemanly self and delivered the first swat with the paddle so as to leave a mildly titilating sting, but no more. I simply looked back at him with an amused smile and said, "Oh, come on! You can do better than that." That was all he needed, and he laid the next four on, not as hard as he could, but still with considerably more force and sounds like pistol shots. Now that we're a competent team, he knows my limit, and pushes me to, and sometimes a little beyond it, every time.
Not during a session. Since we use spanking for DD, it doesn't really work if it's not hard. So, I will tell her if a session did not really push me to my limits.
Still over D's lap after a good spanking, my smarting bottom upwards, I said out of devilment, "Is that what you call a spanking ?" . He said nothing, but then I felt the cold wood of our big hairbrush on my hot cheeks, and I got a spanking I have never forgotten ! S
A spankee should have a voice in all their needs including the length or intensity of a spanking.
Personally, I think discussions beforehand are very helpful and vital if a Spanker & spankee are beginning their play or disciplinary spanking dynamic. There should be a safeword also so the Spanker knows it's alright to keep going no matter what the spankee says, other then the safeword.
If the spanking is for disciplinary reasons it's also helpful to have a safeword, but the spankee (TiH) may not feel it necessary to use because their Spanker (HoH) and themselves have a full understanding of the spankee's tolerance levels and what is sufficient for each progressing level of discipline.
Communication is the Key!
# MrBBSpanker
Great question, Blushing Jen, and thanks for bring it to us, Bonnie.
Season and I are very good at verbalizing our needs as just yesterday Season shyly mentioned she would like a spanking with the leather nanny paddle, and last night I proceeded to toast her tushy with the small but potent paddle. On very rare occasions when Season is in the zone and after I scorch her bottom to a glowing red and I think she has had enough she will remain over my lap, raise and wiggle her bum in a silent plea to continue her spanking. Sometimes she will will purr "More" and though her bum is sore I will continue and the spanking until she is satisfied.
My HOH is a gentle man and doesn't like hurting me, so he tries to err on the side of caution. Usually he stops a minute or two after I start really crying, but I could probably take much more. For me, a hard spanking is somehow easier to take once I start to cry, probably because I am more in acceptance of the fact that my naughty tush is getting tanned no matter what, and nothing I can do or say will change that. At times, the spanking will go on just long enough for me to start thinking of mean names for my husband and then stop. He always makes me look at him before deciding if I've had enough because if I'm still glaring or pouting back over I go. I can't hide my emotions!
In my case the answer to the first part of the question is yes but then I do appreciate a Top or Domme, who may not know me that well, that is careful at the start of play and works up to finding my limit.
This can take a little too long some times, so I drop a hint by thanking them for being so lenient with me. That usually works. If it does not work then I just ask for harder play, straight out.
Prefectdt
I have an idea for another Sunday. I notice in a lot of videos that after the spanking is done the spanker gives the spankee a couple more spanks or pats after she stands up and is either getting dressed or being sent to the corner. Is this something that happens in real life?
My Sir tends to be more lenient than not. Spankings hurt but even when I cry I know I can take more. I often crave more but he doesn't seem willing to give me more and I accept that as his submissive. I sometimes find myself becoming a brat because I want to feel his dominance. It's still new to me and scary and I am not always sure if I can communicate my needs to him as well as other submissives seem to communicate with their doms.
I have had some occasions in the past where I felt the spanking didn't quite get me the release I needed and I told him that I wish I had been able to release. His response was to simply ask me if I needed more then deliver it LoL.
In the early days, there were a few occasions where I didn't tell him, but I ended up 'acting out' afterwards.
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