Did you have a Rubicon moment where you knew definitively for the first time that spanking was, is, and probably always will be a part of your life? If so, was there a specific event that led you to this conclusion or was it the culmination of experiences over time? If you had that Rubicon moment, how did your life change afterward?
I invite you to share your thoughts regarding this week's question. It's quite easy. Just enter your response in the form of a comment below. As soon as everyone has voiced their opinions, I will post an edited summary.
19 comments :
It was during a blow-up, an argument early in our dynamic where I got angry and declared that I was not ever going to let him spank me again... that all this silliness was finished once and for all. My Master being a man that never turned away from a challenge, proceeded to demonstrated how very wrong I was.
Because what I crave most from spanking is feeling his strength and determination more than the actual pain or physical sensation... that was when it clicked. I knew I could ever live without his domination.
Sorta...
Actually shortly after my separation from a very vanilla 20 year marriage I decided that I would never again settle for a 'vanilla' relationship again. Specifically hiding my kinky side secret thoughts and avoiding mentioning it or being embarrassed about it. They had been suppressed by comments like “that’s disgusting” or “How could anyone ever do those things?”
My first post separation date netted my first ever BJ, and while it was happening she reached up and pinched and twisted my nipples… Suddenly I became very aware of the connection between pain and pleasure and all of those thoughts that had never before had answers or fulfillment.
I definitely have had one. We began our spanking mostly in a slightly erotic way, to make JJ more comfortable with the idea. Then, on my first punishment spanking, which wasn't all that bad, the closeness I felt to him was unbelieveable and I wanted it to always be a part of our relationship. There came a time when I wondered if I had pushed JJ into something he didn't really want, and that it was only for me, so I bravely gave him the freedom to back out of a spanking relationship. He was appalled and very dominantly told me it was here to stay! I never felt so loved and in my heart knew we were in this for the remainder of our lives. I am still amazed at what a spanking of any kind does for my heart, and I'm glad it's something we both want, and that it's HERE TO STAY!
Nope, I never had an epiphany, as spanking has always been a normal part of male-female relations to me. The first time I put a girl over my knee was when the pair of us were 15 and I haven't stopped since.
For me it came through reading erotica. I was drawn over and over to ones that involved spanking, particularly the ones defined as domestic discipline. When research revealed to me that this was a real lifestyle that others engaged in and just not fantasy, I knew that I wanted it with my husband. I wanted it desperately. I was terrified that he would reject it because he was such a quiet and gentle person, but he didn't. I knew for sure that I never wanted to turn back when he took a belt to my behind when I was out of control and it returned serenity to my soul. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want to go back either.
As a school-boy in England, I had an urge to spank one of my female teachers. I wanted to bend her over her desk, raise her dress, take down her knickers, and cane her bare bottom. Six of the best strokes, on her naked rear end.
I've had two. The first was when my husband introduced spanking into our lovemaking. I wrote a post about that wonderful night. The second occurred after a lengthy hiatus; we reconnected and I realized that spanking was something that I loved and craved. That story was told here on MBS.
Spanking as a fantasy has been there for a very long time, but spanking for real has only just come into my life. So what I am experiencing now is not so much an epiphany as a "coming home", and it is a warm and wonderful feeling.
I don't think there was one particular moment or experience that made the light bulb go off. It's something I've always had on my mind to varying degrees. There are memories that stand out to me, like in elementary school when we read The Whipping Boy. I have quite a dog eared copy of that even now. Also a time where I was at a friend's house and her father spanked her while I was waiting outside, hearing the whole thing. That's a vivid memory.
As an adult, spanking has only been in practice in my life for about 2 years now. Things are constantly evolving. It's been a fun ride so far.
Well, I'm not sure. Spanking has always turned me on even when I was way too young to know what "turned on" was. It started when I was about 4 yrs old and my Mother made good on the promise to give me a spanking I'd never forget. She spanked my wet, bare butt really hard with the belt. I remember crying, screaming & trying to squirm away but there was nowhere to go. She just kept spanking me and at some point turned the belt around and used the buckle end. Then I remember the red welts shaped like the belt, each hole & even the buckle as well as the heat of it. I dreaded & hated being spanked as a child, but thinking about it has always had the same effect on me ~arousal. So for most of my life I fantasized about it but kept it to myself. It was about 2 years ago when our sex life had become less than exciting that I just blurted it out one night, that I thought I would like it if he spanked me. Maybe that was my epiphany? I don't know but I'm sure glad I finally shared that fantasy!
Make Mine Red
the first time I had the clothes brush bristle side on my bottom made me sit up and pay attention then it was legs b+f ooh, david
Spanking has always been imprinted on my DNA so while there was no Rubicon moment per se, there was a moment of confirmation the first time I spanked a girl when in my early teens. It was an affirmation that this was me and it was ok to be this way and it was the way I was always going to be. I did not synthesize it in those words but it was something I felt in my gut. A true validation.
I was born with the spanko gene and had a lot of the usual experiences others have written about on their blogs. As a child, getting that funny feeling whenever there was a spanking on a cartoon or tv show, hoping my fascination didn't show on my face, looking up the word "spanking" in the dictionary, re-reading mentions of spanking in books, like Little House in The Big Woods, Caddie Woodlawn, etc. As I grew and matured I gradually became aware of the connection between spanking and feeling aroused. I think if there was a rubicon moment for me it might have been when I was 15 or 16. I was babysitting and after the kids were in bed I looked through the bookshelves and found "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask". Somewhere in there it talked about spanking being part of foreplay for some people -- a lightbulb went on. Aha! I am not the only one! And it DOES have a connection to sex. At the same time, I was learning what sex actually was, too. (Through reading about it, not having it -- that would wait for a couple of more years). Alas, getting a spanking would wait a couple of decades. Making up for lost time now!
Since second grade when a beautiful teacher picked up a classmate, put him over one knee and gave him a birthday spanking, which I felt in certain places. Did everything Season did in spades (it was an era when spanking was very much prevalent and very much approved, so there was material everywhere -- in the family, other families, in school, in comics, in movies, in books, in dictionaries, etc.). I started playing in the seventh grade and knew I wasn't alone in the eighth. The only question was, or course, how to play out my desires and hoe, because I then believed what iwas into was untoward, how to maintain my little secret. But I used every opportunity to engage. My one sadness was the nearly 15 year hiatus because of an ex-wife who played spanking games in courtship, the five years we lived together and for two years when we were married when she announced she didn't like it, but we had a child. But when he was nearly college age, I connected again, divorced and for the past six years I have been engaged in spanking. I know now that a vanilla relationship is not for me.
I've always been fascinated by corporal punishment but my first 'moment' came reading a story called 'The Flogging of Helene' in a Fiesta magazine a friend brought to the house when I was off school with a leg injury. Although it was fiction, and it was M/f (and I was most definitely into F/m), I realised for the first time that other people had a similar fascination. I was 15 at the time....
My second moment came when Mistress attempted to cane me the first time and fell on the floor in a fit of giggles. That one moment convinced me what I already known for some time - we had the makings of one hell of a relationship!
No, there was never a Rubicon moment (at least I never remember crossing a small stream with thousands and thousands of Roman soldiers, in order to conquer Rome). Spanking has always been there as long back as my memory goes.
Prefectdt
My experience has been more of a progression: finding those first spanking stories online, getting my first ever spanking, discovering spanking videos, exploring my fantasies by writing fiction and occasionally playing.
If there was a "moment", it would be attending my first Shadowlane party (a dream since discovering Shadowlane early in my online exploration). Meeting so many "normal" people who happen to be into spanking was eye-opening for me. Attending parties spurred my self-discovery. The opportunity to meet people and make friends, to discuss these desires openly - it has helped me define who I am and what I want.
As a result I've made some of the deepest friendships I've ever had and gained the confidence to discuss bits of this "secret" with my vanilla friends and family. I've found people who understand me instinctively, and made wonderful friends who have kinks entirely different from my own. I've found...ME, and I'm learning to accept who I am.
A Rubicon moment is actually perfectly fitting for me...especially when you consider that I may as well be married to Caesar!
The first time Nigel ever spanked me he said, like it or not...get used to it.
Yep. Willingly stepped right into the stream and have been fording it ever since.
Thank goodness! What worlds we've conquered! Vini, vidi, vici!
Emily
Well, my rubicon moment was the last hiding I ever got at school back in the 80's. 12 with the strap from my assistant headmistress and it wa then that I knew. I've blogged about it at length over at http://tinyurl.com/66ya2vk so have a look ! ever since then...well, I just knew ;-/ R
R xx
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