Another weekend is upon us, so it's time to talk about spanking. Our topic of the week was suggested by a blogger friend.
Please name three things you wish your partner (or future partner) knew about spanking in general or about your spanking interest.
To join in the fun, all you have to do is write your response in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.
11 comments :
Those special words and phrases are so important, and using them before and especially during a spanking makes the experience more exciting.
Spanking is a great stress reliever, mood alterer, and smile generator, and should be applied as often as needed.
Reading blogs together ensures that we are both on the same page, and provides a constant source of new and creative ideas.
I puzzled over this at first, because after all these years I really think he knows everything about me concerning spanking.
But it's been a long time, to long, since I've been over a woman's lap. So, here is what I'd like her to know.
1. How I react to what you say, or do, or have me do something, depends on whether this is punishment, or not. Because what is still fun or exciting for nonpunishment play, can Really get my attention when used for punishment. Whether it be corner time, you pulling my panties down, like a little girl, or making me do the walk of shame, and bring you back whatever you intend to spank me with.
2. For play, while embarrassing, its embarrassing in a good way, when you say things like fat little fanny, or plump little rump, or my chubby cheeks, etc. The same things, however, said when I'm being punished, will make me feel very young, and submissive and embarrassed and compliant.
3. I understand that you will correct me, as much as you think I have earned by my misbehavior; however, no matter how bad I was, after its done, I need to be comforted and for you to let me know I'm your good girl again. I don't expect sex, if you wish that, that is fine, but at least a hug, a cuddle and a kiss is needed, or I would be emotionaly devastated, and wonder what I did wrong.
Angie
I just wanted to say after reading the question that I feel very, very lucky. We only ventured past play spankings six months ago when I asked my wife to help me with weight loss. It worked so well that we now enjoy a complete DD life style. As I set here I can not think of a single thing that I wished she knew about spanking or our interest in it that she already knows! I read here and many other blogs, she never does yet seems to know all the trick of the trade!
I wish my husband cared that that him spanking me helped. Since he stopped he stays mad at me for a long time and ignores me.
He thinks the silent treatment is better than spanking me because I started to bruise, but only after I started working two jobs and have a low iron high junk food diet.
I feel unloved when he goes an entire day without talking or touching me.
Sorry Bonnie I know it's not the response you expected. You dont have to post it.
He still spanks me during fun which is great.
He is supposed to help me break a habbit and its not through ignoring me so hopefuly he will catch on.
ttgu
The three things I would hope for in a future partner would be
1) That he understand when I needed to be spanked without me having to ask for or suggest it.
2) That he understand it's about being emotionally invested in the relationship and not just about pain.
3) That he talk, talk, talk to me about it, even when I don't want to talk.
Being my normal, annoying (bratty) self, I would like to split this into two lots of answers, for potential future partners.
To an experienced Top:-
1/ Spank me hard
2/ spank me often
3/ Use your imagination, I love to try new scenes/toys/things.
To a lesser experienced Top:-
1/ This is not abuse, because I want you to spank me
2/ It doesn't always have to be about sex, if you want, it can be just spanking and nothing else
3/ No matter how long you end up doing this thing that we do, there is always something new to learn, stay open minded
Prefectdt
He knows me too well already...
however, little reminders are always good....
1) It is not so much the spanking itself I enjoy, as the feeling of being helpless and held to account for my actions....
2) I like to be NOT in control, therefore ASKING for a spanking ruins the mood completely, so instead of asking, I simply DO something worthy of being spanked... being "let off" or warned, will not result in improved behaviour, but worse, to prompt the spanking I need! And since you wish me to behave, acting on the first prompt from me will mean less irritation to you in the long run!
3) If I brat again soon after a spanking, it means you ended it too soon!
For Bear, I think that thers so far nothing he dosent already know about me and our spaningks, If ther is however its because im unaware of it to and we havent realised it together. So as issues or situations come up about our spankings, both DD and play, then we will learn together.
Bear and Penfold xx
For me, this person should know that spanking isn't a minor hobby or passing fancy; it's an intregal part of who I am.
Second, he/she should know that playful spankings are THE BEST foreplay for me. Yes, licking me down there feels great, fingering is fun, but 9 times out of 10, I prefer that you turn me over your knee to turn me on.
And finally, I need to be disciplined at times, and that entails hard punishment that may bruise or mark my bottom. It is well padded and already cracked back there, you can't do it too hard. I need it. I might whine about how I hate the hairbrush, but I really crave it at least once a week. I'll fuss that a caning is too severe, but unless you administer it as needed, I'll lose respect for you.
Jean Marie
I'm totally with Daisy on this one:
1. The feeling of helplessness is very important!
2. YOU are in control, so let me feel it.
3. If at first you don't succeed, spank harder and longer. Meow
Because we've been together for a lot of years there nothing really P doesn't know regarding spanking as it applies to me. He might not know everything about spanking per se, neither do I, hopefully there's room for both of us to be inspired and inventive to keep things lively.
One thing, I would like, and I don't think P know's how much, would be more punishment spankings. I've mentioned it a few times but always subtly because if I say it to starkly it would burst the bubble. When they do happen, which isn't often, they have to be natural to work for me.
Ronnie
xx
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