Now that we're entering those cold winter months, it's time to bring a little warmth to our brunch discussion. For many of us, a sexy spanking is the best foreplay. The very thought of spankings remembered or fantasies yet to be can light the lamps of passion. This week, I invite you to delve deep into the core of your lusty desires.
Do you find spanking to be sexually arousing? If so, what specific elements provide your greatest turn on? If not, why do you and your partner spank? Are some spankings more arousing than others? If so, why?
I encourage you to submit a contribution to our brunch discussion. Please leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their responses, I will publish a summary of the discussion.
Thank you in advance for your sharing your insight!
15 comments :
This is such a marvelous question, Bonnie, thank you for providing the mental stimulation by posing it!
Maybe it's partly just because spankings focus on the bottom. It's an asset that I'm proud of and feel sexy about, an area my lover finds erotic.
Maybe there's something animal, basic about the attraction. Spankings generate heat, increased blood flow, until I'm immitating nature by doing my best Mandril babboon impersonation with a scarlett backside. They are primal.
As Todd & Suzy eloquently said, fun spankings are the best foreplay, but punishment spankings hold even more allure in the emotional exchange. The fact that I submit, that I deliver my pretty bottom to be stung, even bruised or marked; the fact that I trust my lover enough to be the one to hurt me (so good), to correct my faults is a very powerful dynamic to be shared between a couple.
Part of the attraction is probably in the fact that we don't fully understand it; it's a control thing achieved through an act that most of the world dismisses as infantile. Maybe a submissives' sexuality stays at a six-year olds level and never matures, I don't know. But I'm not complaining, nor would I have it any other way. I'm proud to be a spanko. I feel sexier than my peers, even girls half my age. I am the way that I am; obsessed with getting warmed back there on a frequent (near daily) basis, and getting walloped occasionally to set me straight and right the balance of power.
Wow ... two very excellent responses so far! Both of which resonate inside me as well.
Spanking as foreplay is a rush that never slows down. And when we're in public, at a rally or a bar or similar setting, it's sometimes very obvious that it's sexually stimulating to others as well.
What I mean is simply an expansion on what JeanMarie said ... Dave and I are proud of who we are, and it's like it seeps out of us in our interactions, and others often ... feel it. I don't mean that others start having sex! Just that they seem to become more intimate ... softer with each other. I'll have to expand on that in our blog sometime soon! I truly don't want it misunderstood!
No orgies! laughs!
After a punishment spanking, if Dave and I snuggle into bed, and we don't have sex right away, he'll hold me as we drift off to sleep together, and then in the middle of the night I'll wake and feel his cock inside me, his hands holding my bottom, and the sex is very intense. The feelings that punishment spankings cause in me seem to push my tolerance higher and my sexual need deeper.
The sexual response in me comes from the love, the respect and the depth of intimate knowledge of each other that providing for these needs demands.
No wonder it's sometimes hard for a vanilla to understand this interest!!
It's a many faceted, contradictory, primal thing ... a
total body/mind/soul connection in me.
Gosh I'm so very glad I have it!!!
Hugs!
Cindy
Some great responses already! Like those who answered before me, spankings are always very sexually arousing, even the harder punishments. If it wasn't arousing for both of us we wouldn't do it! LOL
Very simply for me, it's a huge turn on. And anything that turns me on turns my sweetie on. My formerly vanilla partner says I've turned him into a monster because he enjoys it so much now. LOL
Even the few punishments that I've had have been very erotic. And they seem to bring a deeper emotional connection, which seems to be very common according to the previous responses. After a punishment we make love immediately and all is forgiven.
Of course, good girl spankings are always great. They're just so much fun and always end up with us ravaging each other. So yes, in short, all of our spankings are sexually arousing. I wouldn't have it any other way!!! :-)
For us, spanking is totally and completely sexually arousing!!! I find everything about it to be a turn-on. I love the feel of being held down over my hubby's knee, of his leg on top of mine, the feel of his hand, or an implement, coming down over and over on my bottom. And of course, the incomparable sting that comes along with it!!!
*sigh*
*hugs*
Tigger
Oh my yes, we find spanking to be sexually arousing. The greatest turn on for my DW is sexual tension. Tension, anticipation is something that most men get enough of at 14 or so, but it also something that most women never tire of.
We start the day before, when I either describe in detail what is in store for her or just I just mention she is going to ‘get it’ and leave it for her to imagine.
The next morning she is ‘dating mode’, taking extra time fluffing and buffing in the bath, cooking a special breakfast and generally being extra solicitous.
I am sure you can fill in the action details for yourself, but it is the tension that puts her over the top.
Is spanking an erotic experience, the answer is a resounding yes, even the memories of spanking's past raise strong erotic feeling.
As has been said before all spankings are erotic, even the rare punishment spankings.
Our usual nightcap was Mel over my knees on our bed, we never wore pj's of any sort, half an hour later after several orgasms Mel would be begging me to take her, her bott was always hot which is how she loved it. stress busters and attitude adjusters though not so obviously sexual had more or less the same effect.
Interestingly punishments though quite rare had an even more intense effect, punishments never took place in the bedroom, always in my office, I worked from home, Mel needed a high level of pain so her punishments would have been considered severe. After such a punishment her nightcap spanking was just a token, yet her orgasms were stronger and her desires greater, I was always happy to oblige.
I don't believe that the desire to be spanked is infantile, after a lifetime I cannot claim to really understand what drives us.
I only know that the couple that spanks together stays together.
Great question Bonnie, thank you.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Great question, Bonnie and some great answers already. Spanky and I have always used my spankings as foreplay, and we both find them to be very sexually arousing.
Specific elements? The anticipation of knowing I will be spanked, the close connection with Spanky, the physical action of being spanked. I love the way my bottom heats up and turns red, and the way Spanky rubs and caresses my bottom. I find it all very arousing. Thank you, Bonnie!
Hugs,
Kallisto
[LOL] I've read this about three times already, trying to compose my thoughts. This time it just struck me as incredibly funny. "Do you find spankings to be sexually arousing?" Hmmmmm ... DUH! (sorry)
YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Yes, yes, yes.
I just love all aspects of spanking, and it arouses me tremendously. Straight vanilla sex just doesn't cut it for me. But bring spanking into the action, and wow, oh yes!
Cindy has the most incredible spankable bottom. The softness of her skin, the curve of her flesh, the firmness is just oh so right. I guess the first sexually arousing element just has to be the curve of a woman's bottom. I've always been a confirmed 'ass man', and it's always what I look at first. I evaluate every woman's bottom as spankable or not; and sometimes Cindy points them out for me!
Next is just the feel, when I'm caressing her bare bottom before I spank, I just have to breathe so deep, as the stirrings begin. When the actual spanking begins the combination of the sound of the spank, the sting in my palm, and the feel of her cheeks giving beneath each spank make my heart start to beat fast.
I'm also very visual, I NEED to see her red bottom when we're making love. We have "Our" position, with her laying on her side, her upper leg pulled up giving me access to her. In this position we can make love, I can spank, and I can see her face, breasts, and red bottom all at once.
The next element is the sounds she makes. She'll be embarrassed I mentioned it, but she makes the most incredible sounds when she's being spanked. Not words, and not real loud. Just soft, deep inside her sounds. When I re-watch our videos it's just all the more exciting to hear them again. They're just like ... a soft little combination of a cry and a groan I guess!
Then there are her little girl choked words through huge sobbing! There was a time she would hold things inside and not share them for fear of burdening me. That is part of the evolution of "Cindy's Rules", especially, 'Tell me when she's scared.' During that time I literally had to spank it out of her. After one of these hard spankings she would be sobbing so bad, and the words would come pouring out. It was the most incredibly beautiful sound, her 'well-spanked' little girl voice choked and twisted by heavy sobs. Although I did have to ask her to repeat herself often as it was almost impossible to understand her. But even as I held her TIGHT, and comforted her, I just wanted to make love the instant she'd composed herself!
Which are more arousing? Punishment ones by far. Often I get incredibly drippy with precum just scolding her. That's all it takes, scolding. Sometimes I will stop in the middle of it, open my jeans, pull my underpants inside out and show her the wet spot. Telling her, "See what you did? Clean it up!"
Then she'll lean forward and lick and suck my underpants before cleaning the tip of my cock. Then I'll tuck it back in, fasten back up and go on with the scolding. I have NO idea why I react this way, just know that I do, and that scolding Cindy is one of the most arousing activities we can share.
If it's not a punishment spanking, for the most part, I will let my fingers slip between her thighs and check her wetness. She gets INCREDIBLY wet, and sometimes even (how to say this tactfully) well ... I guess the accepted term is 'squirts' when I'm fingering her. We call those her DEEP cums, but they don't happen during a spanking, only when I'm fingering her, but normally she's still across my lap at the time.
She also cums during spankings. I've learned over time the exact place on her bottom, the exact strength of the spank, and the exact rhythm of the spanks that I can pretty much make her cum at my will during a spanking. Of course then she gets scolded and spanked some more, because it's soooooooooooooo naughty to cum during a spanking! Only naughty girls do that!
I was going to apologize for rambling, but ... hey! If you're going to ask multiple questions in a brunch you run that risk!
GREAT brunch question!
Dave
I've often considered the why of spanking. Certainly it's a part of my sexual identity now. It's odd that I find it as sexy as I do, considering that it was always a looming threat in my house hold "Do you want a spanking!" I think it's something about giving up control. In all my early sexual experiences I was the top, and often the guiding hand. That gets a bit tired. I've always had to be in control and sex isn't about control. Knowing that I'm putting myself into someone else's hands is incredibly hot. As well there's something to the 'humiliation' aspect of a spanking. I'm a self conscious person, often very much so, spankings don't lend to the most flattering positions - someone must think I'm really sexy to want me in said positions. I'm someone who maintains dignity no matter what, there isn't a lot of diggnitty in being paddled - at least not for me.
So, from analyzing those answers I would have to say that spanking for me, is sexy because of the letting go aspects. Sex is about giving all of one's self and with spanking I can do that. Also, it feels really nice, and that I've got a love/hate relationship with pain.
I guess it helps that my first masabatory experience to orgasm was to a spanking fantasy too...
Hi Bonnie,
Here's my take on it:
I find spanking arousing, yes. In fact, I am never aroused enough to climax unless I am in a spanking or mildly BDSM set up. However, in order to arouse me properly, the spanking should come as a real punishment for a real transgression. I have a harder time enjoying spanking without the punitive element, but not impossible, as long as there is some Dominant/submissive exchange.
And, as someone pointed out here, it took a very tangible spanking magazine and a very vivid spanking fantasy for me to have my first orgasm at the age of 17 (while masturbating).
I wanted to make a correction to my previous comment - I meant to say that it's harder for me to get aroused by spanking which isn't a punishment spanking.
All of our spankings are sexual, and are given as foreplay.
We don't do DD. I'm not even sure we really do D/s. I don't identify as a sub...if anything, I'm a Top who just happens to like getting spanked! ;)
When I first came out to my hubby, I'd get an occasional light spanking as a precursor to sex.
Now, I get paddled each and every time. I can't even REMEMBER the last time we HAD vanilla sex.
Spanking IS sex to me/us.
Sometimes he brings me to orgasm over his lap...sometimes after the spanking. But either way...it's the tape playing in my head.
I think the most erotic thing to me is my wife's submission. In real life she is probably the more dominant of the two of us, but when we play, she belongs to me.
There is much ceremony in a spanking, there are instructions to follow, preparations to make, rules to follow. I think the simple act of me giving instructions and her following them without question is a huge turn on.
Do I find it arousing?? Let's just say that one of our rules is that she is not allowed to rub against me. Actually we are working on OTK, but I fear it might be a little too arousing.
Does SHE find it arousing? she says that she has to be "in the right mood" and then it is a very powerful turn on for her. If she is in the wrong mood she finds it sort of funny and awkward, which usually ruins it for me as well.
Maybe I ought to get her a mood ring for Christmas.
John
I'm not into it in a big way, just as an appetizer not a main course. I need to be sexually stimulated first, orally or manually, and when I'm really turned on my husband might spank me for such and such and tell me I've been bad and am I sorry? And after I've been punished we'll have more sex and it makes me very hot and I usually climax.
For me spanking is my way of giving.Lisa spends 8 to 10 hours every day being in charge.When she comes home she gets to let go and I give her that space.If I can help her let go of the days frustration and give her some release then that turns me on.I get hard jut knowing she has relaxed and let go.Does that make any sense?
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