Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 21

Our topic for this week dealt with lighting one’s own fire. Here are your thoughtful and enlightening responses:

Rivka: I've tried self-spanking a couple times - both disciplinary. The first was guilt motivated. I felt horrible for something, and a spanking was the only thing I could think of to relieve the hurt. I lay down almost sideways on my bed, angled slightly frontward, and bent the top leg up at my hip and knee. That position allowed me to reach my "sit spots," above, and the tops of my thighs with the hairbrush I was using. It was a humbling experience, and it took a lot of self-control to really get to the point of actual release.

However, when Rico decided one day to make me spank myself, it was an entirely different ordeal. Of course, that's how it is with anything I suppose. Doing it to yourself is one thing, but someone else making you is most definitely another. I used the same positioning, and the same implement. It was way harder, and required even more self-control than the first. But it sufficiently exhausted me and worked just fine as the punishment he meant it to be.

I’ve never tried it for erotic purposes, but it doesn't seem like it would work out for me. I guess we'll see one day. =)

Pandora: Although I am in a long distance relationship I have never tried self-spanking and doubt if I ever would. I see my other half every 6-8 weeks when he travels from Europe to South Africa for business. I am happy to wait for his visits and his spankings.

Anon: I have made several paddles specifically for self-spanking. Generally, they are longer handled or have a longer business end and work quite well. I have also tried with wooden spoons, hairbrushes, belts, and whatever else I could think of. Sometimes, these work. Sometimes, meh.

Cuddlybum: I've tried it when things get to be too much, but it's just not the same. I miss the feel of the beloved being there and the closeness we feel afterwards. It takes a lot of the emotions out of the process for me.

I prefer waiting for him to come home. No matter how frustrating or long that is!

Susan: It’s a waste of time. If you can decide when to stop, what's the point? A spanking needs to go on longer than you really want, and it's up to the Boss to decide that. There is a machine called Robospanker which will spank you as hard as you wish, but unless you tie yourself down, and have the stop switch out of reach, you get the same problem.

Jean Marie: Just as in middle school when I used to kiss my hand and arm and pretend it was a cute boy, I have gotten through the stretches of life when there was no one to do the honors by administering self-spankings. It's rather ritualized, as I go over my misdeeds while baring the target area and deciding which implements to use. I've gotten pretty good at aiming for the exact spot with a belt swung around my hip from either side. But the best results come from long handled toys such as the hairbrush, wooden spoon, or kitchen spatula. After I've really warmed myself up, I usually have to shuffle into the bathroom to look at the damage. Often, I'll moisten my cheeks at the sink to make it sting more and continue the lesson in there. I guess it's my fertile (warped) imagination, but I get release out of it, especially because ANY spanking, self, playful, erotic, or disciplinary, gets me aroused, and I'll masturbate to orgasm(s) afterward.

We didn't have a ping pong table set growing up. How I envied the girl across the street who did. How I'd fantasize what it would be like to "get it" with one of those round flat perfectly-devised implements.

Years later, I house-sat in a mansion and they had the much anticipated ping pong table set. The first night there I crawled in bed with a varnished wooden paddle with green rubber coating on both sides of the business end, pulled up my nightie, and gave my bare butt a taste. It HURT! The rubber coating had a rough surface and it really tore up my fanny. That didn't mean I didn't give myself a thorough paddling. It does mean that I never did it again, or fantasized about that toy ever again. My sincere empathy goes to any bottoms who get punished by such a vicious tool.

My fantasies have evolved to a customized ping pong paddle with the rubber peeled off and the surface planed down to a thin, light, highly varnished finish. If I'm feeling cruel, I'd make it with little holes drilled through the blade, so it whistles while it works on the deserving bottom and stings ten times worse. The handle is also highly polished, also smooth with rounded edges, so as to be inserted in orifice(s) when the paddling is done. This paddle remains in my mind, NOT in my collection of toys.

Fortunately, there is a wonderful man in my life at present, and he's grown to realize that something happens to me every early Sunday morning that gets me very hot and bothered. So I'm going to end this embarrassing revelation and go upstairs to reveal a bare ass in need of my lover's attention.

Paul: I remember when I broke my right arm and couldn't give Mel what she wanted and needed. I instructed Mel to spank herself with the light tawse It was rather a failure as she couldn't stop giggling. It didn't really work, but was fun.

Mike: I have tried during times when I had no one to spank with. I also test every implement I make on myself with a few swats. It really gives me a good idea of how stingy/thuddy a paddle is going to be.

The best way I found was with a belt. Swinging it around my hip and letting it wrap. At least it’s the best in that it feels most like a real swat. It doesn't take much force to get a good hit with the wrap so I could get a good sting. The hard part is doing it long enough. I think that has to do with what frame of mind you're in.

Finally, I had my wife spank herself once. We were fooling around, and she wanted me to "do something." I told her I would after she got spanked. Well she threw herself over my knee and I refused to start. After begging and begging, and me saying no, she got up and started spanking herself. She was going at it pretty good. It was pretty hot, and before long I couldn’t resist helping her.

Rose: This is a really interesting question. It actually made me think of that scene in "Secretary" where Maggie Gyllenhall tries to spank herself. There have been times in the past where I definitely felt the need for a good spanking with nobody to administer one. I tried with my slapper and it just served to frustrate me.

However, after reading the comments here, I think I'll try a good old fashioned wooden spoon or keep a paddle on hand when I feel the need. However, it's just not quite the same. Spankings are such an erotic, sensual, connecting experience for me that I would be pretty unsatisfied spanking myself without the connection with my lover.

Bonnie: Anyone who has spent much time at this blog knows that I am a hardcore spanko. I have indeed tried self-spanking in two very different circumstances.

When I was a teen, I fantasized endlessly about receiving hard spankings from a tall, nameless male authority figure. The scenes were purely disciplinary. I had misbehaved in some way and justice demanded a severe spanking. I had sexual feelings at that time and they were definitely linked to spanking, but I hadn’t yet assembled all the pieces of the puzzle.

After a lot of experimentation, I determined that my pink plastic hairbrush was the best implement for this purpose. I would wait until there was no one else home and go to the bathroom. Once safe behind a locked door, I hiked my skirt and lowered my panties. I would decide upon a number of whacks, often 50 or 100. I then grit my teeth and quickly delivered the appropriate number of blows. I resolved to not pause for fear that I would quit before the full sentence was completed. When I was done, I would twist around to examine the state of my bottom in the mirror. I recall being able to achieve a bright red color and feeling after-effects the following day. This was a tremendous turn-on for me. Weird as this ritual was, I was thrilled to actual receive a real spanking. Those feelings and the associated memories drove my masturbatory fantasies for several years.

The second case was with Randy. This was entirely erotic. I wrote a fictional account of a self-spanking episode that was very loosely based upon this event. The actual tone was completely different, but the events were somewhat similar. Randy was away on a business trip. I complained to him over the telephone about being lonely. He directed me to do myself many of the things that he would have done to me were he there. I used a wooden bath brush. It didn’t take much effort from me to generate a lot of heat. The self-spanking was not entirely fulfilling because of the absence of a human connection, but it definitely helped.

We’ve tried on other occasions while he was present, but it didn’t work very well. He invariably finds it necessary to take my implement away and show me the proper technique. :D

Jo: You know that we are not really adepts of spanking, a part the here and there slap of the rear while having sex. But I admit that the question stirs my curiosity.

I can hardly imagine that such practice could be as enjoyable as spanking by a partner. But I agree about the fantasizing side of it. Moving into action while day dreaming is something that happens often to me, not with spanking, but with other types of play. I waxed myself many times, and even if the absence of partner makes it different, I quite enjoy myself. ;-)

Patricia: I’ve never tried it. I guess that is mostly because I didn't have to. I wasn't aware of my desires to be spanked until I met my husband. I don't think I could do it. I think my giggle gene would take over and I would be laughing too hard, especially if Bill were around.

Dyke Grrl: I think I've mentioned this in my blog. Yeah, I've done self-spanking, although not very often since starting college. When I was a teenager, I did it probably once a week. I'd stay up until everyone went to sleep, and then I'd get my belt and come up with a scene in my head.

The scenes varied, and I don't remember all of them (boarding schools figured prominently, though). I usually set a particular number of strokes, or number of minutes. I got pretty adept at wielding the belt for maximum impact and minimum sound.

When I started college, with the paper-thin walls, I had to come up with another way of, um, meeting those needs. So I finally discovered masturbation (fueled most of the time by spanking fantasies).

Since then, I pretty rarely self-spank. Occasionally, as an aid to a fantasy, or while figuring out the impact of a toy (although those things never seem to hurt as much when I'm the one holding them), or while trying to get into a story I'm writing.

It's funny, really, how masturbation almost completely replaced self-spanking for me.

And, as others have said, self-spanking isn't as satisfying as being spanked by a partner. (Um, kinda like masturbation vs. partner sex.)

Lee: When I first got into spanking, or more precisely, when I started realizing that I was a spanko as a teenager, I tried self-spanking with things like my belt. At this point, I had no clue that there were other people like me, or that I was normal. So I felt weird, awkward, and embarrassed about it, even though I never told anybody. At that point, it helped, and I craved more from anyone (I also hadn't realized at this point that it was a sexual desire). Since then, I haven't done it again, for a lot of the reasons I mentioned earlier. I do not live alone (I'm currently in college), and am really never alone enough to feel safe doing it. It's easier to explain it as a couple exercise, and it would be easier for the people around me to understand and accept it that way.

Padme: I am like you, a hardcore spanko. I have done self-spanking a few times. I thought about spanking a lot after getting spanked by a ping pong paddle at 16 years old. I thought about doing self-spankings a few times, but was so embarrassed.

Master Anakin has phoned me from work a few times and told me to go upstairs. I take the phone with me and then take my hairbrush and use it on myself. He likes to listen to the whacks himself to make sure I am spanking myself hard enough. I like to make my ass red. This helps me to focus at times when he is not around.

Tigger: Not in the traditional way, but our way was very fun! It started with me talking to my hubby on the phone while he was at work. I was working on a new spanking story, and told him that I was really turned on by it. He chuckled, told me I was a bad girl, and that I should spank myself. I laughed, not thinking that he meant it. That evening, however, he asked me if I'd done as he told me. I looked at him in confusion, not remembering anything he'd specifically asked me to do that day. He told me he was talking about the spanking he said I was to give myself. I told him that I didn't think he'd been serious about that. He said that he was!

So, into the bedroom we went, and off came my shorts and T-shirt. He then told me to bend over the bed while he went to get the sorority-style paddle from our toy drawer! Coming around the bed, he handed it to me, pulled my panties down around my thighs, and then told me to spank myself! I did, but obviously he thought I wasn't doing a very good job because after half a dozen spanks or so, he took the paddle from me and spanked me with it himself!

So, even though it wasn't self-spanking in the traditional sense, it was fun and sexy, and even more so because my hubby was watching!

CeeCi: At first this question made me draw a blank. I've never entertained the idea of a self-spanking. When I first looked at the question I interpreted the act as disciplinary. As my spankings are purely erotic, nope, I don't self-spank. Then I realized, hey, self-spanking could be mastubatory and I'm all over that, so who knows? Perhaps in the realm of pleasing MoJo during one of our lurid phone sessions, it could be an option as I deny him nothing. There would be many giggles as spanking brings out my giggly self.

I loved Paul's tale of the fractured arm and the tawse!


Most of us have tried self-spanking at some point. The consensus is that self-spanking will never measure up to spanking with a partner. Some readers dismiss it as ineffective. However, for a number of others, this act still holds value.

I particularly liked Dyke Grrl’s comparison with masturbation versus sex with a partner. I think that’s an excellent analogy.

Thanks again, everyone! See you next Sunday.

Keywords: spanking, self-spanking, My Bottom Smarts, spanking brunch