Sunday, April 07, 2013

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 7

Our topic this week was where on the body is appropriate to spank. Here are your responses.

Julia: DH and I have drawn the line at my lower back because I frequently have back pain, and therefore will not even consider that. And he would never overstep that limit, which I really appreciate. Otherwise, I let him try out what he likes, which does include breasts, thighs, vulva, and butt of course.

Mr. BB: What is considered appropriate for one person may be much different for another. Each person would need to discuss all areas of what they find appropriate before a spanking begins or progression of spanking dynamic continues.

Different categories that might be discussed include, but are not limited to: physical boundaries, physical limitations, strike placement, implements & intensity among others. Discussion and usage of safe-words is a suggested safety measure, especially if the partners engaged in a spanking are newer to spanking or to one another.

Pocahontas Smith: Like Julia, our only limit is the lower back due to risk of serious injury. Otherwise, I trust his judgment and ability to read me. He can spank whatever he sees fit. I also agree with BB. We have safe words for the 'just in case' moment. Thankfully, I've yet to need them. :)

Hermione: I think that for the most part, spankings should be restricted to the bottom. I sometimes get a swat or two on my thighs or lower legs, but only as a playful reminder to stay in position. It seems to hurt so much more, and I would not appreciate any concentrated activity there. As for other parts of my body, like hands, breasts or genitals, neither of us has ever considered those to be suitable areas for spanking.

Dragon's Rose: Fun spanking has almost no restrictions. Not the head or neck. Punishment is on the bottom only.

Abby: Because of higher probability of damage, the lower back is off limits, but otherwise, anything goes.

Kenzie: We tend to stick to the butt and then when I move too much, he'll give a few swats in the upper thighs/sit spot area. I think everyone's different and as long as limits are discussed and respected, then to each their own!

Fiona: For Sir and I, it's now wide open. It's been a slow process getting there with one tiny push at a time. But, I have to tell you, we LOVE the bottom, breasts... Nope, LOVE IT ALL!

Country Spanker: It's the bottom and only the bottom for us.

Six of the Best: I believe ONLY THE BOTTOM should be given a spanking. Spankings on other parts of the body TURN ME OFF.

Archedone: For us, it's mostly the bottom, and just below where the legs meet the bottom. She has had me spread my legs a few times and giving gentle spanks to the inner thighs. If you spank too high you can damage your body organs. The bottom is made for spanking. That is why there is so much padding there. USE IT. SPANK IT. LOL

Joeyred: I will not spank beyond the bottom. No hips, no thighs, etc. None of my friends want me to spank these zones.

Serenity Spanked: For fun spankings, D pretty much keeps it on my bottom and sit spot. But for punishments, leather has a tendency to also wrap around. He also pays special attention to my sit spot, upper and inner thighs if I have been particularly naughty because I hate it so much.

L.: It's bottom only for us!

Daisy: Just the bottom for us!

Respecting Mistress: The bottom, the sit spot and the tops of the thighs. Mistress has suggested buying a whip to apply to my back, for times when my bottom is too heavily marked

Lea: My personal boundaries for spanking is my bottom only. My thighs are not toughened up like my butt is and I don't want to deal with damage there. Plus it hurts much, much more. I've done light flogging all over my body, but it was a more massage type of play, not hard impact. Other than that, I don't like any impact on my back either.

Clint: I'm not against spanking on the back of the thighs if the infraction was serious enough, but the majority of the strikes fall directly on the buttocks in the majority of our spanking situations.

Renee Rose: I'm turned on by breast and pussy spanking...

Belle L: Only bottom, and maybe a few lighter swats a little lower on upper thighs. I already have nerve pain issues in other areas, so we don't need more chronic issues. I think age plays into it a little also. Sometimes, we just don't bounce back as easily.

Michael M: Yes, the bottom is the ideal erogenous zone for spankings and canings, but my wife does not restrict herself to just that area. She goes where the fancy takes her which includes the back and front of thighs and the genital areas.

D.: The Oxford Dictionary gives 'spank' as "Slap with one's open hand or a flat object especially on the buttocks". With our ladies blessed with two such rounded and out thrusting globes, which just beg to be spanked, and bounce and quiver delightfully when spanked, what need is there to spank anywhere else ? I spank my S. from the top where the cheeks start to thrust out, to the crease where they meet her thighs, and on the sides down to her hip bone. I can go until the whole of her bottom is as red and smarting as I feel it should be. A lengthy spanking can leave her with a very sore bottom indeed. There is no need to spank any of the other places at all, nor would I want to.

Susie: We are bottom only people, but my husband will give a few swats on the thighs if I am moving too much or if I put my hand back. It is a very quick motivation to get my hands back in a safe place.

R&K: For us, it's bottom only. We have tried the upper thighs, but I have a problem with my hamstring muscle from exercising and don't want to cause further damage.

Abby Williams: We've just started exploring past my bottom and thighs, and it's been incredibly thrilling. I feel like we've discovered a whole new aspect of our shared fetish. We just bought a new thuddy flogger so we have something that can be used pretty much anywhere below the neck, and it is amazing. I'll be writing about it soon, once we have had more time with it. So far we have only had a chance for a "test" session, and I was pretty much rolling around like a cat in sunshine who just had a large dose of catnip. I should note, though, that anything we do in an area that we'd consider a non-normal spanking area (breasts, back, shoulders, between the thighs, etc) is done as consensual play, even if it's somewhat painful play. We do these things to explore and to enjoy each other. And soft implements are a must!

Marie Pinkerton: Hi! Long time lurker, first time to join the brunch. Hope you don't mind me pulling up a seat!

Our fun spankings center on the buttocks and sit-spot, and occasionally a few swats on the upper thighs.

Erotic spanking is a different matter. A feather light spank on the inner thighs or between the legs can be amazing.

Not at all, Marie. We love meeting new friends! You are most welcome here.

Houston Switch: Mostly bottom cheeks, sit spots, and top of legs just below cheeks get the swats. We avoid the top most part of bottom and lower back due to multiple surgery events.

Bonnie: For our first decade together, Randy and I used almost exclusively thuddy toys. I think my tastes were definitely shaped by this start. I knew I didn't want to be struck on my hips, so we stayed away from anything whippy that could potentially wrap. So with our collection of wooden paddles and such, spankings had to be restricted to the round, fleshy portion of my bottom (which I think should provide a sufficiently large area). We've since expanded our toy box, but my preferences haven't changed that much. I'll accept a few swats on the very tops of my thighs as a change of pace or attention-getter, but that's about it.

One mistake I see new spankers make in pictures and videos is striking too high. I've heard it said that swats should be directed no higher than the top of the spankee's crack. I believe this limit is way too high and brings the tail bone into play. I suggest a different boundary as depicted below.

When the spankee is standing flat on the floor, find the location where the curve of his/her bottom is perpendicular to the floor. Everywhere below that line and above the crease between the bottom and thigh should be generally safe as a target.

Thanks, everyone, for another excellent brunch conversation. I love the wide range of responses. See you next week!


MrBBSpanker said...

I found your diagram interesting because it generally describes the area also referred to as the "Sit Spot" or "Sweet Spot" :)
Depending on a persons anatomy, Sit Spot or Sweet Spot is usually the first area that contacts a surface when sitting.

Great discussion as usual Bonnie!


Pezzi said...

The answer is that your man should spank anyplace on your bare bottom which has enough padding to permit a little "bounce" after his hand, (or paddle,or hairbrush, etc.) lands! He needs to concentrate on the "padded portion" of your bottom to "heat up what needs to be heated up" without contacting the "non-padded areas and risking bruising the areas where bones are located.

AND, really, swatting the padded areas of a lady's derriere is FAR more fun! The "sound" is more appealing; and the wiggle can be enjoyed because he knows that he's not harming anything serious (i.e. he can spank longer and harder without concern that he's injuring little miss priss's behind!!!!)

Rich Person said...

What do you mean by "spank"?

As D quotes The Oxford Dictionary to spank is to "slap with one's open hand or a flat object especially on the buttocks". I don't include flat objects (to me, that's paddling). By this definition, one could spank other parts of the body, and I have. (I gave one girl a "birthday spanking" on her breasts.)

Where, exactly, is a matter of personal taste. Different strokes for different folks, as they say. The main thing, I think, is to be very careful to avoid permanent damage. Anything boney is obviously not appropriate. Jay Wiseman's SM 101 has some excellent tips, and I'm sure the information is available for anyone that looks.

Other than that, I try to look at it from the receiver's POV. What are they getting from it and what are they getting out of it? Let your bottom be your guide!

Jenny said...

Sorry I missed the chance to contribute to the Brunch over the weekend.

In general, I have only fantasized about a man spanking my bottom - the full, fleshy part. I don't like spanks that hit towards the sides of my hips because they hurt in a different way and just don't have the desired effect. Every hit on the side is a hit that does not make contact with the right spot.

Having said that, I have occasionally fantasized about the dynamic of having to place my hand out, palm up, to receive a swat as punishment for some fairly serious offense. I love the idea, but I am sure I would not like the reality - at least in the short term!

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