Monday, February 11, 2013

Bonnie's Mailbag

Look at this pile of mail. We might as well dig in and see what we find. I've edited a few messages for length.

Comment: Just wanted to say "hi", keep in touch

Response: Hi!

Request: Will you mention my blog?

Response: Yes, I've linked it all around and included it in the next In with the New post.

Question: Do you participate in affiliate programs?

Response: No, I don't allow any kind of advertising. I don't accept money or merchandise from anyone because I don't want readers to have cause to question my objectivity. If I choose to endorse something, it's because I believe in it.

Request: I sent you a couple emails over the last few weeks and never heard back so I just wanted to try a final time to see if you'd like to receive a copy of [book title] to review on your blog.

Response: Thank you for your interest in my review. On the very rare occasions when I review a product or publication, it's as a favor for a friend and I pay full price. Accepting free merchandise, especially from someone I don't know, makes it feel as though I am obligated to write a positive review. I believe MBS readers expect me to tell them the whole story, both good and bad.

Question: Have you any blogging tips?

Response: Yes. You can find them here.

Question: How do you feel about men wearing panties and bras and similar female clothing while they are being spanked?

Response: Jealous – I usually have to take those off!

Seriously, it's not a turn-on for me, but I have no major objection either. If this enhances people's spanking experience, then I'm all in favor.

Question: May I quote your blog in an article I am writing?

Response: Yes, as long as you cite MBS as your source and provide the URL.

Comment: Just wanted to say I love your profile and especially the picture. Nice ass view.

Response: Thank you. I hope you will also take a moment to read the blog.

Question: What is subspace.the reason I ask I see a lot of spanking sites on the Internet talking about it

Response: That's a great question and one for which you will probably get a number of different answers. I would describe it as an altered state of mind brought about through the experience of pain and characterized by euphoric and disconnected sensations. Some people become very familiar with this phenomenon. Others never experience it.

Request: Hope you add me as a friend.

Response: It's thoughtful of you to write a message asking me to friend you, but you haven't told me why I might want to do that. Have you anything interesting to share? Do we have any common interests that might provide the basis for a conversation? I'm not sitting around waiting for someone to talk to me.

Request: I'm 5' 8", and I am 57, and looking for Friendship,and play partners and friends with benefits in the _____ area. I'm happily married, but in an open relationship with _____.

Response: My profile clearly describes my interests. Before you friend me (or anyone), I think you should read the profile.

Question: have you ever spanked a girl?

Response: Nope. Not my thing.

Comment: I was following links today and came across a post by _____. Seemed rather hate filled to me . we all have the right to a opinion , but do we all have the right to be so nasty about it?  I respect your right to have whomever you wish as a link . I however will never click that link again , I cant see where her /his rant was any way productive or even considerate of other peoples thoughts.

Response: I'm sorry you were offended. I try to link blogs that will be of interest to at least a significant segment of MBS readers. With that said, not everyone will enjoy every post I link. If I find a blog that I judge to be truly offensive (underage, spammy, racist, sexist, etc.), I reserve the right to pull their link. But this happens very seldom.

Complaint: When I surf to links on your blogroll, I pick-up lots of bad stuff on my computer. The company I just paid to clean-up my computer advised me not to visit your site and these others. Do you have any advice on what I should do? I love your blog too much not to visit...

Response: I appreciate your loyalty and I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience. The spyware and virus problems that people see on blogs are usually attributable to unsavory third party gadgets. I don't run any of those on MBS. I can't be responsible for what linked blogs do, but if you find one that is problematic, I will contact the owner if I can and/or temporarily pull the link.

With that said, everyone on the internet should be running up-to-date anti-virus software. This will minimize the possibility of damage due to contact with a hostile site.

Question: Does a bottom (or sit spot) begin to turn brown after many spankings? I am very fair skinned and we enjoy spankings both for erotic play and discipline. I am usually spanked with either a wooden paddle or a lexan paddle. Sometimes we use a hair brush, bath brush or belt. Since we started discipline spankings, there seems to be a lot more spankings.

We were at a clothing optional resort this past weekend and my husband noticed that right about my sit spot, there was a brownish discoloration about the size of a ping pong paddle imprint. I can't see it but apparently he did when I was walking towards the pool. If skin does discolor because of spankings, do you have any ideas to help with that.

Response: I've not experienced skin turning brown after many spankings. However, a fading bruise can certainly take on a dark color. I think that's the most likely explanation. Hopefully, you're not breaking the skin, but if you did, a healing sore can look dark as well.

A lot of people like arnica cream to promote the healing of bruises. It seems to make ouchies feel better and it's nice to have my husband apply it.

The best treatment for bruises, however, is to avoid them in the first place. The paddles and brushes you mention are notorious for leaving marks. Perhaps adding more leather implements to the mix would reduce the chance of bruises without sacrificing your spankings.

Request: Will you visit our new message board?

Response: Thank you for your kind request. Unfortunately, it's all I can do to keep my blog operating smoothly. I just don't have a lot of extra time to socialize. Maybe one day I'll retire and live on the internet all day long. Until then, I can only give what I have.

Comment: I came across your blog just over 4 years ago and realised I wasn't the only spanko and wasn't weird. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, but loving it now I have come to terms with my desires and enjoying a long learning curve.

Response: I'm very happy for you and glad I was able to assist.

Question: When you are lying across your husband's lap and he is spanking your bottom really hard, what do you think about?

Response: At those moments, it's pretty much impossible to focus on anything other than how much it hurts and how much I want it to stop soon.

Request: Need To Be Spanked Since i been Bad. Tell Me about How you Will Spank me. Take Care OF This Spankings. This is not Roll Playing.I am Serious and Seriously Need Bare Bottom Spanking ! Please Punish me.

Response: I'm sorry. I'm not a top and I play exclusively with my husband.

Followup Request: I Know That you Don't Spank any more. Could You Please Tell Me Who Else That you Know That Would Give Me a Spanking ? Please Give Me That Person's name So I Can Ask Her about Spanking Me ?

Response: If anyone out there wants to beat this guy's butt, let me know and I'll put you in touch.

Question: Why did you remove my link?

Response: Your blog had been dormant for more than two months. If you return and let me know about it, I will happily restore your link.

Request: My name is ______ and I am crazy about spankings. I have not met anyone who fully understands my desire to run my hands over my ass as it is beat red with a hot burn. The sound of the crack of a paddle caressing my cheeks is enough to put me into total bliss. I live in _______ and would like to email you on a regular basis as email pals.

Response I have a limited amount of time each week that I can dedicate to blogging, e-mail, and the like. I have more to do than time to get it done. While I'm not philosophically opposed to having a new pen pal, it would be very difficult to squeeze into my schedule.

Question: do you ever incorporate another male to deliver a spanking?

Response: No.

Request: I a cd who needs spankings, and I liked your blog.  How can I find women to spank me, while im elegantly femininely dressed up?

Response: I'm probably not the best source for this information. I would start by contacting one of the fetish groups in your town. If they don't have your answer, they may know who might.

Question: how long does it take for bruising to fade?

Response: That depends upon the severity of the injury and the person's rate of healing.

Observation: I still get spankings

Response: Really? Me too!

Question: Do you find the fantasy of putting strong, self-confident women "in their place" to be offensive to you.

Response: Not if there is consent.

Complaint: Lately I've been getting error messages when I click on some of the links:

"hotlinking sensualwriter.com/favicon.ico is forbidden, please notify the webmaster of this blog about this problem…"

Response: This message is generated from a linked blog over which I have no control. If you contact the publisher of that blog, they should be able to correct it by deleting the offending link.

Request: Just looked at your website pages... Very interesting Seen some of my model shots on your site.. Please remove _______ reference on several of your published photos of me. This is my real name and I do not wished it published on web

Response: I don't have anyone's model shots posted.

Question: What's you favorite wood for paddles?

Response: All of the hardwoods are fine – oak, maple, walnut, cherry. They tend to be heavy so paddles thicker than a half inch or so can be quite thuddy. But they're sturdy and won't break easily.

Paddles made of pine are light and stingy, but they break, especially if they have holes. If you decide to buy one of those, don't spend too much money.

Request: If your husband can handle a 60 year old who dreams of having a father figure again let me know.

Response: OK, that's a new twist. I'm going to say he's not interested.

Comment: I love to be spanked myself Bonnie but my wife refuses to spank me. I also love to spank.

Response: I feel for spankos who have partners who don't understand. I wish there were an easy answer, but that is seldom the case.

Question: This life-long interest in spanking – is it born or is it made?

Response: We've debated the nature-vs-nurture question many times without any definitive resolution. My opinion is that there is definitely an innate fascination that some people possess and others do not. I base this conclusion upon the fact that spankos come from a wide variety of cultures, generations, and family situations. We tell remarkably similar stories of being interested in all things spanking from a very young age, independent of experience or exposure to spanking media.

Request: Please remove my blogs from the list on your website

Response: This was one of the stranger requests I've received. This fellow has two spanking blogs that are regularly updated, but he doesn't want me to link them. I did as he asked, but I'm still baffled.

Request: hi bonnie i saw ur blog and profile..im a male 54 year old spanker that would love to chat..u can email me back anytime..im always online..tallk soon

Response: Unfortunately, I'm not always online and when I am, I have a long list of tasks to complete. I like talking with readers, but I just don't get many chances.

Question: Im looking for new friends on Fetlife. Nice ass, can it point the way to a new group?

Response: No, actually, it points to the place I just left.

Comment: We are in a committed and very loving cuckold relationship...

Response: How is that not an oxymoron?

Comment: I love the picture (with the jeans) on your blog! It makes me smile.

Response: I'm glad you like it!

Ramble: So u have been spanked, have u?  I heard it all thru the door He stormed out. And forgot to lock the door. U are wailing. I open the door. And see u in your flimsy summer dress. On your stomach. The dress all messy. I make my over. I lift up the dress and view your firm pink bottom. I gently run my fingers over it. Your bottom feels hot. I rub some cooling creme onto my hands. And onto your bottom. Rub. Rub. Rub. My fingers caress your crack. Up and down. I run my pointer finger around your little asshole. U moan. I see your vagina is glistening. Mmmmmm!!!!  !!!! I lower my head. And caress your bottom with my lips. You push back and my tongue slips into your vagina. U gasp!! 

Response: Is it unreasonable to expect a “Hello” first?

Question: Yiu sound cool. What's your name?

Response: Bonnie.

Request: your very welcome to send some photos of what that cute but looks like after a session or two anytime here :)

Response: Don't stay home waiting for the postman.

Question: You've talked before about having a very wide bottom. Do you ever get trapped in airline seats or other narrow places?

Response: Trapped, no. But it can be a tight squeeze sometimes. On the airlines, I usually get a seat beside Randy. He has broad shoulders and narrow hips so we can sit together quite comfortably.

Comment: I think your material has been posted without citing you as the source.

Response: Thank you for bringing this link to my attention. The site in question has not been updated in a couple of years and looks to be abandoned. Any damage caused by their plagerism has already happened. I seems unlikely at this point that any action I take will make any difference.

Question: What implements are helpful in minimizing [skin] breakage while still maximizing the [effect of the] session?

Response: You pose an interesting dilemma. How might a disciplinarian deliver the level of pain you desire without breaking your sensitive skin?

My first thought is to cloth your bottom during spankings. It's much less likely that an implement will cause abrasions on your bottom if it never actually touches it. Your wooden paddles can be used over trousers, for example, yielding a rainbow of impressive marks and a lot of posterior discomfort, but hopefully no skin breaks.

My second thought is that your bottom will tend to toughen up with regular spankings. I recognize this may not be an option, but if you can receive more frequent, but less intense spankings, it should be possible to build your tolerance.

A third thought is that you may want to investigate vitamins and/or supplements designed to promote the growth of skin (and typically hair and nails too, though that's not our primary concern here). There are also vitamin E and aloe creams that you can apply before and after. If your skin does break, you'll want to have some antibiotic cream on hand.

Finally, I would watch out for thin, whippy implements like whips, canes, and crops. These deliver a lot of force in a small area and may cause your sensitive skin to split.

Question: Is your daughter a spanko?

Response: Not to my knowledge.


That's enough for this time!

16 comments :

joeyred51 said...

Bonnie,

Thank you for providing us with your candid responses to questions and comments that you receive.

I am both honored to be listed on your blog; I cannot imagine why someone would want their blog removed from your list.

Have a terrific week.

Hug,
joey

MrBBSpanker said...

Wow! What an widely varied and interesting "snapshot" of the kinds of emails and messages you receive from an immensely varied community.
I always appreciate all of your supportive community building efforts on this free, objective and inclusive format. And you have great advice for running and sustaining a blog.

On a side note:I can see you try to refrain from replying with anything other then an informative response, but the few "tongue-in-cheek" reply's are not only warranted, but really funny! :D

Emi Jones said...

I love the look into your mailbag! What a fun post and I'm very appreciative that you have my link shared as well. Thank you for all you do Bonnie!

Missy jones said...

Wow bonnie how do you cope with so much post.
You are one very busy lady :)
I have to say some of the questions are just way too much, I don't know how you take the time to answer them. Others I just laughed, you are very witty.
I for one will say thank you for including me :)

Blondie said...

Well I think that I saw one of my questions to you up there. No it wasn't the one asking to be spanked by you. Lol Thanks for answering my question then and I also appreciate reading your answers to other questions. You really are as wonderful as your readers tell you.

Hermione said...

What a wonderful cross-section of life in your inbox!

"When I surf to links on your blogroll, I pick-up lots of bad stuff on my computer." As a frequent surfer of your extensive blogroll, I can confidently state that I rarely encounter a site that sets off my anti-virus software's alarm bells. Your advice was good; the reader probably was not sufficiently protected.

Thanks for sharing!

Hugs,
Hermione

TL Bucko said...

Thanks for sharing, Bonnie. For the record I tend to like a hello first too.

~Subbie said...

Hi Bonnie! Reading your post caused me to realize that my blog was no longer linked. I wonder if you would mind re-linking me on your page. http://mydsmarriagejourney.blogspot.com/?zx=f28901bb99e3a9b3

Thanks for your consideration!!

BB said...

I finally got my computer back and working :) I came back and then my comp died. So now I am back again. I was hoping you were still around Bonnie :)

Bonnie said...

Joey - I actually asked the guy, but he wouldn't share his reason. What blogger doesn't want traffic? Now I know.

Mr. BB - Yes, my mailbag is filled with everything from random requests to sexy suggestions to meandering mumbles. Since you like my tongue-in-cheek replies, I can tell you that Keyword Chaos is coming soon.

Emi - It's my pleasure!

Missy - As in life, we take the good with the bad and the engaging with the idiotic. You're very welcome.

Blondie - Yes, I think think I did use one of yours. It was good enough to want to share. Thank you!

Hermione - I can't certify that every site I link is now and will always be free of viruses. I do the best I can to filter out the bad sites, but each reader has a responsibility to safeguard their system.

TL - Blogging can create odd one way relationships where a reader feels as though they know you intimately even if you've never had a single conversation. One might think I would no longer be surprised by this phenomenon, but I still am.

~Subbie - Welcome back! Your links are restored. Thanks for letting me know.

BB - Wow. There you are! I wondered what happened. I'm delighted that you're back again.

And, yes, I'm still around. :)

Erica said...

(giggling) Rut roh! Was *I* the nasty ranter? :-D

Fun stuff! You are so generous with your time, Bonnie.

Anonymous said...

For the question about discoloration of the skin from spanking...ANY bruise exposed to excessive sunlight (tanning) can result in permanent discoloration of the skin.

Roz said...

Thanks for sharing this Bonnie. Wow, what an interesting and varied array of comments and questions. I love how you handled some of these. I don't know how you keep up!

I too can't understand why anyone would want to be de-linked from your site. I for one am glad to be here. Thank you for all your wonderful efforts and all you do for this community.

Hugs,
Roz

~Subbie said...

Thank you so much!

Bonnie said...

Erica - No, it wasn't you. It was a grumpy blogger who is no longer active. Had it been you, I definitely would have mounted a defense.

Anon - Thank you for that explanation.

Roz - Sometimes I don't keep up. That's why there were so many messages to sift through.

It's always been a pleasure to serve this wonderful community. Every kindness is paid back many times over.

~Subbie - Any time!

Hez said...

These were great reading and some very entertaining! Thanks for posting and the time it took you to do all that too :)

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