Sunday, June 17, 2012

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for June 17


Our topic of the week was ourselves. We sought to learn a bit more about each other. Here's what you had to say.

Ana:
Status: Crazy!
Role of Spanking: Helping me to conquer my personal demons and to achieve my personal and professional goals.
How Long: 8 years? Maybe?
More: That I may submit to discipline, but I am not weak. Just difficult. :)

Fondlers Anonymous:
Status: I'm seeing someone who I've known for 24 years and is currently married. They have their own issues and there are children involved. So for now, this is what it is. We got involved only three months ago.
Role of Spanking: I've always enjoyed erotic spanking. And currently, we have maintenance / grounding ones as well (when I get frazzled).
How Long: On a regular basis, with the necessary discussions, etc. - Only three months (since I started this relationship). Prior, it was always just a guest-appearance. Even then, the boyfriends who did it weren't quite serious. It was more like the perfunctory tap now and then.
More: I'm confused and stumbling about and I wish I had more answers than questions about all of this D/s stuff, but I'm soooo happy to be in a TTWD relationship!

Anon:
Status: I'm married with an adult child.
Role of Spanking: My wife paddles me fairly regularly, as much as five times in three days. I'm always sore and tender the next day, but I am able to sit.
How Long: I have been paddled for two years, reviving an old interest from 25+ years ago when I was paddled several times by three women.
More: I would like to attend a party or spanking group activity. My wife is like Randy. She is not interested. I am curious about bottom-blistering paddling in front of others.

Reece Seever: Wonderful topic, Bonnie! I was just thinking this morning that I'd love to have more of a sense of community with others in this lifestyle, so the personal questions are well timed.
Status: Married for many years to the same woman.
Role of Spanking: Spanking plays a prominent, if not always consistent role in my life, as part of a domestic discipline relationship in which my wife is the disciplinarian. In other words, she uses spankings to keep me in line and to develop her own sense of empowerment.
How Long: Probably longer than I think, but I believe it has been about 8 years. It has all been within the context of my marriage.
More: Unlike Bonnie and a lot of the people who comment on this wonderful blog, we don't do spankings for erotic or play purposes. For us, spanking is a means to an end. Our spanking relationship began with me admitting that I needed help controlling my behavior and asking my wife to use spankings to help that happen. For me, getting spanked is not about wanting the pain (I don't), but needing to give up control in an act of real submission to another person.

PK:
Status: Twenty-nine years married to a vanilla with an open mind.
Role of Spanking: Not nearly enough to suit me. I get some sexy/erotic spankings, again not enough. I also get what he thinks are 'discipline' about diet and exercise, but they really aren't.
How Long: Six years, since I first found your site and got up the courage to ask Nick to spank me.
More: This community has added a great deal to my life and I will be forever grateful.

Joeyred:
Status: I am married to a wonderful woman for 33 years.
Role of Spanking: Spanking is part of our foreplay during intimate moments.
How Long: My first adult spanking was fourteen months ago.
More: I have met many terrific people and made some of my best friends as a result of "being in the scene."

Abby:
Status: I have a Master, who ten years ago started out as someone who I could trust to spank.
Role of Spanking: Most weeks, I get spanked at least twice. We use all types of spankings, erotic, punishment, and just for fun!
How Long: My first adult spanking was from Master about ten years ago.
More: At a time in my life when I thought I was settling in to being "older," a whole new world was opened up to me. Never give up!

Prefectdt:
Status: Single
Role of Spanking: It keeps me sane and stable, gives my life focus, aim and adds a lot of fun to the journey.
How Long: My first adult spanking was at 19. I am now 46. That's 27 years with a three year break at one point (damn, I missed my spanking silver jubilee).
More: There are thousands of things that I cannot tell you. I am really good at keeping my big fat mouth shut when discretion is required.

Daisy:
Status: Married, but still living in separate countries, unfortunately.
Role of Spanking: Husband and I learning about this together. I brought it up early in our relationship. He wrote to Bonnie for advice, horrified and thinking I had some serious mental issues!

We use spanking in a number of ways - for discipline, fun, erotic, maintenance, just because, and obviously, these are all conducted in different ways. However, they are also put on hold for sometimes years at a time, until we can be together again!
How Long: I have had an interest since around 16. When I discussed it with hubby #1, we were both naive, there was no internet, and he never "got" it. Unfortunately, there were times it fell into the abuse category.

By the time I met Davey, I had the internet and had been reading Bonnie's blog and others. I had a better idea of what I wanted/needed, and a much better understanding of how to accurately communicate this to my wonderful man.
More: OTK is my LEAST favourite position! And the cane is an absolute no no. We have agreed on this.

Six of the Best:
How Long: I've been interested in spanking for over 70 young years. Yes, 70.

The Canery:
Status: Hangin' around
Role of Spanking: It's an obsession
How Long: 15 years maybe
More: I'm alright

Addy:
Status: Married
Role of Spanking: Discipline and release. I also enjoy it for strictly erotic purpose, but we just started this so I am receiving more punishment ones at the moment.
How Long: I've always wanted to ask for it. MDK and I have been doing this for about a month and a half.
More: I just like reading and posting on like-minded blogs. :)

Bella:
Status: Married for 12 years
Role of Spanking: Honestly, it plays a big role in my mind. It has yet to become a bigger role in my life. But DH and I are working on that!
How Long: The desire and fantasies of spanking started with me about a year-and-a-half ago. In real life, we've been involved with spanking for less than a year.
More: I get punishment spankings because I read a lot! I spend too much money on Kindle books on spanking, DD, BDSM, etc.

Playful Little Brat:
Status: I have a dom and the relationship is purely spanko/friendship
Role of Spanking: It plays an on and off role. I'd like it to play a bigger role and be more consistent, but it could be worse, so I can't complain.
How Long: My desires started looong time ago, but I've only been involved in the community for a couple of years now.
More: This has just been a great place to be able to express feelings and emotions about the topic of spanking, as well as get input from friends and see how there are SO many people who can relate. :)

Respecting Mistress:
Status: I'm a submissive male, and I have been living with a wonderful lady for the past seven years. We started exploring my corporal punishment fantasties early in our relationship and she discovered her dominant side. Two years ago, we embarked on a full domestic discipline regime.
Role of Spanking: Purely discipline now
How Long: About 20 years
More: Blogging has been a great way to get in touch with like minded people to discuss DD and exchange ideas.

Renee Rose:
Status: Married. 18 years together and married for ten
Role of Spanking: It's purely fun for now
How Long: In my head, all my life. For real, I'm just sticking my toes in the water :)
More: I write spanking fiction, which has helped me "come out" with my need to be spanked

Jayden:
Status: I'm married to my BFF/soul mate/love of my life for soon to be 18 years. We have been together for almost 20. He is amazing for putting up with me! ;-)
Role of Spanking: I finally admitted a few years ago that spanking was a turn on. We engaged in light play periodically. We recently made some adjustments to our relationship and roles. We now have a DD marriage (M/f). Spanking is now a huge part of my life (at least weekly). It serves to humble, teach, and make me aware of my behavior. Spanking has brought us much closer and also serves as a HUGE stress reliever for us both. Of course, it still serves its erotic purposes as well! I LOVE having spanking active in my life. Can't u tell?!
How Long: I've always known that I had a 'kink.' I was to scared to ever admit it. Spanking has only been a part of our lives for a couple of years. Only recently has spanking become a constant and 'normal' part of our life and routines.
More: Like many women in our community, I am an educated professional. I am a charge RN in a trauma operating room. I am smart, strong, strong-willed, and very accustomed to being in control. I am a good, strong confident nurse and I don't take sh*t off of anyone. I am not easily (if ever) intimidated at work. I am a leader and I like things my way. I am well liked and respected by surgeons, and most staff. We also have 5 children, and so, an abundantly busy homelife. This makes DD/TTWD/spanking all the more important. Now that I can separate my work persona from my home persona, I can relinquish control at home with the knowledge that I have a wonderful, loving HoH/Top to depend on. This kind of security and comfort with my home life has made it easier for me to deal with all the stress of work and my position.

Why wouldn't people want spanking of some sort in their life? It is amazing on so many levels. ;-)

Rosie:
Status: I'm in the process right this moment of moving in with my boyfriend. :-) In fact, I should be packing, but I've earned a break!
Role of Spanking: Spanking has been an interest for as long as I can remember, but now it is mostly stress relief, play, with a sprinkling of discipline with the man I love.
How Long: I've been into it literally my whole life, but I've only been spanked for about a year now.
More: I'm not sure about this one. I'm bossy and confident and in-charge, except when he has something wooden in his hand!

David: We`ve been together for 40 years, but only found out last year that we have a family we didn't even know existed. Personally, I was relived to find that I wasn't the only one going OTK and getting spanked every week. Monday is our maintenance night and punishments are carried out promptly. Sadly, my better half isn`t so keen on others knowing, so if I hear "Have you been on that computer again?" I know a sore bottom will be coming my way. Love to all.

Curtis G:
Status: Divorced five years ago
Role of Spanking: With the exception of a 15-year hiatus, spanking has always had a major role in my life both actively and in my dreams. I have always been a conceptual switch, but until college, I was almost always a top. Then, my girlfriend for three of those college years decided she wanted to see what going the other way was like. We switched for the duration of our relationship. I have never been into spanking for discipline or punishment or anything beyond spanking and prefer OTK and the hand to anything else.

All of my spanking involvements have been for fun and play, sensuality, eroticism and as prelude, postlude or part of sex. My fifteen year hiatus was caused by my second wife (and the one I divorced five years ago) who played spanking games during two years of courtship, five years of living together and two years into our marriage when she announced she didn't like it. We had a child coming along and I hung in there for him until I finally decided I didn't want to be sexless for the rest of my life. I answered an ad, resulting in an absolutely wonderful four-year affair based on spanking that ultimately led to my divorce (which had other grounds beyond sexual deprivation).

Since then, I've join groups, attended spanking play parties, and even have an annual one at my house. I'm looking for a relationship, but happy that I have found a number of play partners. The space in between is too long for my taste (I think I could play every day and perhaps more than that). But it's better than a desert.
More: If it's relevant, I'm a self-employed professional with some prominence in my field. I have a beautiful home in beautiful territory. I am a well preserved fossil and have a wonderful son. My interests are many and varied. I do gardening, biking, hiking, exercise and whitewater canoeing. I also like to read, write, engage in political and philosophic discussion, and listen to music (with particular partiality to classical, jazz, pop and folk). I am a baseball nut and, as a graduate of UNC, fanatical about college basketball.

Loki Darksong:
Status: I am about to celebrate my third year of being married.
Role of Spanking: Spanking has been for fun, art and foreplay, but recently I have begun branching out into using it along the lines of stress relief, punishment, discipline and such.
How Long: I have been involved with this since before the spanking community became their own entity. This October will mark my twenty-sixth year as an S/M'er and spanker.
More: I am a good person to know and have as a friend. I love to share knowledge with people. I tend to find the things that no one else notices.

Riley:
Status: In a relationship with my boyfriend, Cael.
Role of Spanking: It used to be disciplinary, now it's more of an activity we both enjoy. It makes me feel submissive and it makes him feel like he's in charge.
How Long: I was first spanked about 2.5 years ago. It was a few swats just for fun. It wasn't until about nine months ago that we got really into it.
More: I love this community and I'm very friendly. Don't hesitate to say hello! :)

Hermione: Ron and I have been in a monogamous, committed relationship for nearly thirty years. Spanking began to play a part in our intimate activities about three years after we got together. For a long time, it was strictly a part of our foreplay, but in the past few years we have enjoyed spanking just for fun too.

If anyone would like to know more about me, please visit my blog.

Julia:
Status: Married
Role of Spanking: Huge!
How Long: Less than a year.
More: No, I am good.

T:
Status: Married for three years. We've been together a collective six years.
Role of Spanking: Punishment, play and foreplay. It makes us both feel good.
How Long: Almost nine years.
More: I am very open and greatly enjoy the new friends I've met on here. We need to start a yearly convention. :)

SublimeWifey:
Status: Married 17 years and together for seven years before that
Role of Spanking: Fun and foreplay
How Long: For years, my husband would get a few playful swats in during sex, but about a year ago, we decided to take this to a new level when I asked him if we could try D/s. Our D/s dynamic is mostly restricted to the bedroom, but I'm hoping we'll push that a bit further this year. My husband wants to progress slowly.
More: I still struggle mentally with balancing my need to be controlled with my independent feminist self. I know that others have found peace in this balance, but I am still working it out.

Indy:
Status: I'm single. My regular spanking partner is a sub/switch, married to a dominant woman. Occasionally, she joins in the fun, too.
Role of Spanking: Spanking plays a number of roles in my life. Depending on the circumstances, it can be an expression of friendship, a way of exploring my fantasies and desires, or a substitute for sex. I'd eventually like to find a partner with whom sex and spanking are accompanying activities, but, ideally, I'd still play more casually with others.
How Long: A little over four years of real-life spanking play, with a couple years before that spent reading spanking stories and blogs, trying to come to terms with my spanking desires.
More: Most of my vanilla friends are amazed that I'm involved in anything sexually adventurous. I suppose I am, too. I'd always figured I wanted to restrict my sexual activity primarily to a loving, monogamous, heterosexual relationship. However, I must say that my time in the spanking community has opened my eyes to other possibilities. I often wonder if people use sex as idiosyncratically as we use spanking. Do we just talk about it less often because sex, unlike spanking, is seen as natural for everyone?

I value my friends in the spanking blogosphere a great deal. I've been lucky enough to meet most, but not all, of them in real life. I smile at their joys and triumphs, and I shed real tears at their sorrows. I hope everyone who comes here has had -- or will have -- a similar experience in that regard.

Our Bottoms Burn:
Status: Long term loving marriage
Role of Spanking: We are never without spanking.
How Long: Adult spanking? Hmmm, I started spanking girls when I was 14 and never stopped. I turned adult at some point. I started getting spanked when I was 19.
More: I try to lead a life without regrets.

Make Mine Red:
Status: Married almost 30 years
Role of Spanking: Strictly as foreplay
How Long: I fantasized about it forever, but just got brave enough to ask for it about two years ago. It took awhile to get the husband to do it, but he's pretty good at it now!
More: I'm a lucky girl to have such a wonderful husband who will embrace something he was never really into just because I want it!

Miss Trixie:
Status: Married, 14 years
Role of Spanking: Reverse discipline, maybe? :) I get spanked as a reward, and it always ends between the sheets. I say 'reverse' discipline because I love everything about having my bottom reddened, and since I love it, well, it's not exactly a threat, is it? And I'm generally pretty well-behaved, so I get rewarded with a hard spanking when I've been very good, not very bad. If it were the other way around, I would just have to be bad all the time!
How Long: About 6 months, backed by a 30-year obsession
More: My husband is not a spanko, but he took to it like a duck to water, and I'm incredibly lucky to have a spanker I can trust utterly.

Bonnie:
Status: Married and monogamous for many years
Role of Spanking: Spanking is the core of our sexuality and a major element of our relationship. It's stress relief, relaxation, communication, reconnection, play, foreplay, and setting the world right again. Beyond that, a good spanking reconfirms and strengthens our respective roles as dominant and submissive.
How Long: Pretty much the entire time we've been together, with a year off for a baby
More: I don't know what I can share that would be truly new to MBS readers. I've pretty much spilled all my best secrets at this point. :)

Thanks, everyone, for sharing. We're certainly an interesting and diverse group!

1 comment :

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