Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Spanking 101: Rituals

Wikipedia defines a ritual as "a set of actions, performed mainly for their symbolic value, which is prescribed by a religion or by the traditions of a community."

Many couples incorporate some form of ritual into their spanking practices. In this context, a ritual is ceremonialized series of activities that amplify the significance of the spanking. Participants often find that introducing the elements of ritual into their spankings cause them to become more meaningful.

In a discipline setting, ritualistic practices can add formality and consequence to the proceedings. For a maintenance or theraputic spankings, ritual can reinforce a message. For erotic spanking enthusiasts, rituals heighten fantasies and create a more dramatic environment. Regardless of the purpose, rituals often work to enhance a spanking.

Common rituals include these ten examples:
  1. Positioning - The spankee must typically situate herself in preparation for a spanking (over the lap, over a piece of furniture, grabbing ankles, etc.)

  2. Fetching the implement - The spankee must participate in her own spanking by retrieving implement(s)

  3. Uncovering the target - The spankee must bare her own bottom, so as to demonstrate her acceptance

  4. Verbal instruction - The spanker directs the recipient to prepare for the spanking in a particular manner

  5. The verbal review - The spanker discusses at length the reasons for the spanking is being administered and the desired results

  6. Kissing the implement - This is another means by which a spankee can be asked to demonstrate her acceptance of the spanking

  7. Removing garments during the spanking - Some spankers enjoy peeling away individual clothing layers as they spank as if to signify disappearing resistance

  8. Grouping swats into sets with rest breaks in between - Spankers sometimes choose to spread out a spanking over time to render it more intense and memorable

  9. Counting - The spankee is asked to verbally count out the strokes applied to her bottom

  10. Corner time - The spankee must stand in a corner before or after a spanking, typically with her bottom on display, for the purpose of reflection

Many spankos employ some or all of these rituals. In addition, individual couples often develop their own unique rituals over time. Here are four that Randy and I enjoy:
  • Spankings before we go to the theatre

  • Spankings when we arrive in a new hotel room

  • Spankings whenever I wear thong-style underwear

  • Spankings whenever I leave an implement sitting out

The latter two provide me with the opportunity to ask for a spanking without necessarily having to say the words.

Spanking rituals come in many forms and serve many purposes. At their heart, though, all rituals exist for the purpose of making the experience more significant and more real.

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Spoon said...

Yesterday, my spanking friend around the corner asked me a loaded question. I have learned that the best way to deliver the brutal truth, is to say it, and then quickly turn around and pull down my pants to reveal the deserving mounds. Now, its become an automatic reflex.

Anonymous said...

Very enjoyable reading, Bonnie, and though I've never quite thought of what we do before or after a spanking as rituals, I will now!!! And very enjoyable rituals they are to!!!


Paul. said...

I was married for over 33 years in a DD D/s relationship.
I cannot remember ever consciously setting up or designing a spanking ritual.
Yet after a few years we had them, there were certain things we did for play, G G or punishment spanking, like Topsy they just grew, and if we didn't follow them, it was uncomfortable.
I suspect that Homo Sapiens have been using ritual since before we climbed up onto two legs.
So it seems that rituals are part of the human condition, not only do they give structure to our lives
but also provide comfort and reassurance.
Very helpful for those of us in this and related lifestyles who often face criticism for our choice of lifestyle.
Bonnie, your 101 spanking posts are always interesting and often thought provoking, thank you for the thought and work you put into them.
I hope that I haven't gone on too long, I don't mean to appropriate your comment space. :-)

Hot-Candy said...

I like the thong and leaving an implement out rituals. I would love to be able to ask for it!

Bonnie said...

SpoonHi! I kind of lost track of you. I hope you're doing well and having fun.

I'm not sure whether that qualifies as a ritual or a tease. I'm sure it's equally effective either way.

Tigger - Most couples develop lots of rituals over time. At worst, they're a rut. At best, a celebration. These are patterns that fit us well. In many ways, they are the cloth from which our relationships are sewn.

Paul - Your observations make perfect sense to me. Feel free to say what's on your mind.

Hot - Welcome to My Bottom Smarts! Those techniques work very well for me. Please feel free to adopt whatever you like!

dwcmike said...

I love your spanking 101 ideas. They are thoughtful,and also useful as guides for many people. We employ many of these rituals. The spanking before company arrives for dinner is frequently employed so I remember not to serve and drink too much, and the leaving an implement sitting out is a way of my asking for a spanking, or information that a spanking will occur shortly.
A spanking when we arrive at a new hotel is, however, an interesting start to a vacation.

Bonnie said...

Mike - Welcome back! I hope your recovery is going well.

Thanks. I'm a big believer in paying forward. The Spanking 101 series is one way I do that.

We haven't tried spanking before company arrives. Hmmmm...

Take care!

Anonymous said...

Having the victim uncover the target herself is fine for some, but I think it's just as enjoyable for the spanker to uncover the buttocks. What I like to do when I'm spanking a woman, especially of she's wearing jeans, is to have her stand in front of me while I'm unbuckling, unbuttoning, unzipping, and lowering her jeans and panties. I think that slowly opening her jeans increases the anticipation and emphasises the submission of the spankee. Give this one a try if you want to extend the anticipation and to get her really ready.

Thomas said...

Another ritual that has the feeling of lowering the spankee to "little girl status" is to have her curtsy or bow and say she's ready for her spanking, and then curtsy or bow again, saying "Thank You." This is especially good if you're roleplaying as father/daughter or teacher/student (I recommend a schoolgirl uniform for the latter).

vickie said...

part of the turn on for me is the ritual i love being led by the wrist to the couch then being placed firmly over my punishers lap all the time being told how naughty i have been then the feeling of slowly surrendering to being spanked when my skirt comes up and my knickers come down he generally leaves me bare bottomed across his lap before giving me a well deserved spanking

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