Dragon's Rose: I don't need to. Even when Dragon is out of town, I can always find someone to do the deed. I guess my bottom is spankable.
Elle: Not for me (us), but to each their own!
Joeyred: Several of my good friends are female Tops who will charge for spanking a male or female. At play parties, no money is exchanged. But, at larger events such as Shadow Lane, it is common.
I pay my massage therapist for a full body massage. In my mind, paying for a spanking is similar. The only differences are that I have more clothes on during a spanking and it does not hurt as much as a deep tissue massage.
Texringer: I've always wondered what this would be like, either as the paid spanker or as the customer. To me, it does seem similar to paying for a massage, pedicure, etc., as Joeyred said above. I'd love to try it sometime.
Mona Lisa: For my husband and me, spanking is a very sensual and intimate act. It's like having sex. And I certainly do not want to have sex or be spanked by someone other than my husband.
Anon #1: For someone who is in a relationship with a person who is unable/unwilling to satisfy your spanking need, it would seem a viable alternative.
Personally, I'd be concerned from a safety angle, and it would lose that intimacy you have with your partner. But then, I'm lucky to have someone who enjoys spanking me as much as I enjoy being spanked!
Blondie: I have never really thought about it. We have, at times, thought about having a third, but never thought a paying for it. I guess if you pay, you can get more of what you are looking for. Most the time, spanking is pretty personal, but not always.
Jenny: I have mixed feelings.
If you need a spanking and you have no partner, then I would say it is OK.
If you have a partner who is unwilling (="vanilla"), then I think the partner would need to know that you are considering a paid spanker before you meet up with one. I would consider going to a paid spanker to be a significant part of my life that I would need to share, even though I would not consider it "cheating" to have a paid spanking. I have to admit, I don't know what most vanilla partners would think about the situation. I'd like to hear more from others about their experiences with a vanilla spouse or bf and a paid spanker.
*Bonnie*: I can see why it would be an option for some people, but it's not for us. It might be fun to bring in another, but we would never pay for it. To each their own I guess.
Anon #2: My wife (then of 25 years) announced in December, 2008 that she was going to hire someone to give her a spanking. She said that she was a spanko, and because she has always been quite precise, an OTK (that means over-the-knee) spanko.
We had occasionally played with spanking before, but I am generally vanilla, and it never got much beyond few taps on occasion. By this point, even those had stopped for a number of years.
That conversation led me to this blog and a number of others. Now, almost five years later, what we call "percussive play" is now firmly entrenched. I honestly don't know whether she was serious or if she ever pursued it, but I have alway felt that if I hadn't responded, she would have done so for certain.
Thank you, Anon #2, for sharing your story!
D: I am so lucky to have a gorgeous in-house bottom, whose owner is usually willing to bend and bare, when I want to spank it. Occasionally, she might quibble a bit, if say, she is still tender from a previous session, but she knows when I have decided to spank, I spank! So there is no chance I would ever resort to a professional spankee.
Long before I met S, I did once go to a professional lady. It was very expensive, and the length and strength of the spanking very limited. It was a waste of money.
Hermione: It's certainly a viable alternative if you are without a significant other. If you do have a partner, but he or she is unwilling to spank you, then it may or may not be a possibility, depending on the openness of your relationship.
Would I ever engage a professional spanker if I lost my dear husband and had no one to spank me? That's a hard question. I hope I won't need to worry about it for a long time. I suspect that it would be both easier and safer for a man to find a professional to spank him than for a woman to do so. Never having explored the possibility or availability of professional spankers, this is pure conjecture, but I think a woman would be more at risk.
Bob: I have never thought about it either way.
Abby Williams: For a long time, before I met Mr. W, I thought I was going to commit to the profession of being a courtesan. My heart had been broken enough times that a real relationship, never mind a marriage, didn't seem viable. But I always felt I had so much love, passion, and, hopefully, intelligent conversation to give that being a courtesan just made the most sense. I didn't want so much to be paid for sex as I would have accepted being paid for companionship and fulfilling the deepest need of that companion. That would, of course, have included spanking.
While this course did not turn out to be mine, I think that if someone can offer their skills as either a top or a bottom to those who need them, they are filling a much-needed void in those lives. I will say, having found my perfect top, that for those who have that void, it is better to be honest from the start, rather than find someone to fill that need post-wedding or commitment. Be honest with yourself first. Know who you are before committing. Then find your perfect compliment. If that perfect compliment is not there, then I wholeheartedly believe that is okay to fulfill your needs with those committed to satisfying you. Someone who knows what they are doing, will honor your limits, and satisfy you. There is no dishonor in this. Honesty is best, for all parties, whether seeker, fulfiller, or partner.
Mr. W and I began as co-workers who confessed their fetishes in the customer service booth of a Barnes & Noble while waiting for people to ask where they could find "The DaVinci Code." (That being said, please refrain from asking where to find a bestseller from a bookseller. They are in the front, where they always are. Fetishes are being discovered, people!) We are fortunate that we found each other, because we fit each other perfectly. But if I hadn't found him, I hope I would have made a number of lonely tops happy, courtesan-style, never losing my heart, but always filling that need. No one could have had my heart again, other than Mr. W.
Follow your heart, follow your fetish. This is the best advice I can offer. If money exchanges hands, so be it. Just make sure that whichever side you are on, you do it with honesty, integrity, and, in the grander scheme of appreciating all the aspects of humanity, love.
Prefectdt: I can only speak as one who has paid to get spanked rather than one that has paid to spank.
Although the expense is prohibitive, I think that I would recommend that an inexperienced spankee, without a partner with whom they have good and close communications, considers a well recommended professional until they can tell the difference between a good and bad spanking and spanker.
Personally, I sometimes find that I need to play a bit on the harsh side to satisfy my needs. Women who are both experienced enough and willing to play at that level are not available that often amongst my amateur contacts. Then it is necessary to employ a professional spanker or Mistress. I do not regret doing this and have met people with very good skill levels and those that have broadened my spanking horizons.
Thanks for choosing this topic Bonnie.
Thank you for sharing your question and answer, Prefectdt. I chose this topic to run first because it's outside my experience. I wouldn't have thought of this subject.
Ana: Percussive play... What a great term! I love it.
One issue is that, speaking as someone who comes from a F/F perspective, the risks are high and opportunities perhaps not so common. Professional female spankers seem to be more interested in F/M than F/F, at least from what I've seen and learned. Also, physically, it seems more dangerous for a woman to try this with a stranger than a man.
But if it is a mutually satisfactory arrangement, why not? Some people find it weird to hire people to clean their houses or mow their lawns. What's weird about hiring someone for non-sexual spanking that isn't weird about letting someone into your home and allowing them to touch your personal belongings?
Bonnie: As Mona said, spanking has always been a very intimate act for Randy and me. If he were somehow out of the picture and I wasn't in another relationship, I suppose I might feel the need for a different arrangement. Not having been there, I don't really know. I guess I can't rule it out.
Thank you all for your great responses!