Birthday

Today is my birthday. At 54, that's a mixed bag. I survived another year (though a couple of contemporaries sadly did not). My health is good. The inevitable aches and pains are tolerable most days.

I don't look like I did when I was 20 or 25 or even 30, and I never will again. If I seek to impress people today, it will take charm, wit, style, and occasionally, cunning. Guys still hit on me once in a while and I guess that's all right as long as they are respectful.

I've come to a place in life where I accept my appearance as it is. I'm not beautiful, but I can look good in a dress. Most of the sand in my hourglass figure is at the bottom, but that's always been the case. My face shows the years, but my eyes still sparkle. I'm done feeling uncomfortable about my own body. We've made peace.

I don't mind sleeping with a grandfather. Randy and I still fit together quite well after all these years. Lying against him or he against me, skin to skin, soothes my spirit. But his kiss can still ignite my passion.

I am getting wiser even as I get wider. I no longer argue about things that don't matter. I now know that we each have only so many days allotted to us. I want to spend mine as much as possible with the people and activities I love.

In years past, I wondered whether I would give up my fondness for spanking at some point in life. I'm still wondering because it certainly hasn't happened yet. Randy gave me my annual birthday spanking last weekend. It was a memorable event that combined fine dining with spectacular paddling (not simultaneously – there's no need to try to visualize that). I will record the tale when time permits.

I expect some sort of encore performance tonight. I bought a fun garment that should add some energy to the proceedings. I'd tell you more, but I don't want to chance ruining Randy's surprise.

Thanks to everyone who helped celebrate MBS's birthday at brunch. It amazes me that we have kept this going so long and met so many fascinating people. Ladies and gentlemen, spanking is popular!

Speaking of the blog, our blogroll now contains over 450 links and our membership is over 400. These numbers are important to me because blogging is first and foremost about connecting with people. If you weren't here, I wouldn't be here either.

I vow to make the coming year better than the one past - personally, professionally, and here within this community I adore. I want to promote consensual adult spanking as a safe, enjoyable, and beneficial activity for those of us who appreciate that special sting. I want to write more spanking stories and get more spankings about which to write. If I can achieve this, I will be one happy woman.

Keyword Chaos: About Time Edition

Believe it or not, this is the first Keyword Chaos post of 2011. Let's have a little fun with search terms used to find MBS.

• ac repair radio ad, "it's so hot squirrels" - All of a sudden, my kink feels oddly normal


• adult domestic discipline burnt toast scenario - Is that your best dumb cliché?


• alternative to spanking your wife - I suppose you could talk with her


• anyone spank their girl friend friend? - A spanko threesome, how charming!


• bare bottom cornertime torture enhancement - I have a difficult time reconciling the terms torture and enhancement


• best position for caning - Watching from across the room


• black lingerie I've always the adolized - What is that word? Does he idolize underwear? Is the lingerie black because it's been anodized? Adonize means to make someone (especially a man) more beautiful, but that doesn't fit either. So many questions...


• blog so spankable - Me so spanko


• Bonnie spank - Sorry to deflate your fantasy, but I'm strictly a bottom


• butt sex Bonnie - You see what I have to put up with?


• can a robot be programed to give a person a bare bottom otk/lap spanking - No, Isaac Asimov said so.


• crave lingerie - Tossed with angel hair in a light balsamic vinaigrette?


• Drew spends first day of hell as Miss Zoe’s new servant - People in hell just aren't cool


• Fetfest Zorro - You have to admire a man who knows how to use a whip


• Fetlife mytreat Antarctica - There's a party every night, but you have to wait six months


• for what reason would you spank your wife? - Because she likes it


• four hour spanking dvds - Who would want to watch a four hour spanking video? Opera is shorter.


• free bear bottom spankins over the lap - Free or not, still a very bad idea


• free paddled bottoms - Do you ship?


• gaping bikini bottom - I told you I was size 12.


• how to minimize my spanking marks - Don't get spanked


• I had to spank my girlfriend - Did someone put a gun to your head?


• I love my round rump plump bubble ass - Yes, I know, and those queries always send you back here to good, old Bonnie


• I spank my wife for discipline stories - Last time I spanked her, she told me a really good one


• interesting spanking positions - The “sauntering ewe” is certainly interesting, but not very practical


• is adult spanking wrong - Not when both parties consent


• it is “love our lurkers day” - Not yet, but stay tuned!


• my wife want to punish my cock, any ideas? - Yes, ignore it


• pictures of Emma Watson's spanked bottom - She's not that kind of model


• proof that girlfriends need spankings - If they ask, that's all the proof you need


• rufflespankedwomen - They have ridges, you know


• should I spank my brand new wife in public - I heard that voids the warranty


• spank my granny panties - Sometimes Granny likes it on the bare too


• spanking wager ouch - Yes, ouch is the price for losing a spanking wager


• spanking your wife for her befefit - Does this somehow involve cattle?


• unladylike manor - Where all the girls sit with their knees apart


• what does boyfriend really think about my spanking - Why are you asking a search engine?


• women self spanking themselves videos - As opposed to self-spanking others?


• world's worst spanking paddle - Styrofoam is bad for the environment, but harmless to your bottom

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Sept 25

For MBS's sixth anniversary, our topic was why spanking bloggers began their blogs.

Christina: I've been blogging for about five weeks. I have been telling tales of past incidents as well as talking about more recent feelings and events in my DD marriage. I started because a friend thought I might have some tales to share. I was dubious at the beginning, but thought I would give it a try. Now I find it fun and liberating!

I'm glad you're a part of our community, Christina!

Abel: Congratulations on reaching your sixth birthday.

Good question as to why others started... My personal perspective on Spanking Writers? It was partly because I had so many ideas that weren't suitable to turn into fully-fledged stories, but which I wanted to share more widely. It was partly because I was frustrated with SSS as the only place I could post. The newsgroup had its strengths, but its weaknesses were all too painful.

And, for me, most importantly, blogging provided another means of connecting with new people in the scene. It's worked admirably in that regard!

Thank you. It's always a pleasure to see you, Abel!

Emily: My blog originated from marital problems and my spanking fantasies. I stumbled upon this community by reading spanking stories written by bloggers and then finding separate links to the blogs from the story sites. I also have a strong appreciation for your blog, Bonnie, as it's helped me along in connecting with others in blogland. Happy sixth!

I'm happy to be able to help!

Uncle Nick: I started my blog in April of last year, so it's now about 18 months old.

What inspired me to set it up? I was so very ill at the time that I could barely walk more than a few paces. I had been in a coma for three months the year before, so I suppose I was lucky to be alive. A friend of mine suggested that a blog that linked through to his pay per view sites might earn me some money in referrals. Alas, that notion turned out to be a mistake. Casting around for other options, I hit upon the idea of a clips store and now use the blog as a feeder for that.

Aside from that, my memoirs, with the amazing original title, "A Spanking Good Life," are due to be published at the end of this year. I used the blog to publish first drafts of various chapters.

That's a remarkable story. Best wishes with your future blogging.

Daisy: My blog originated absolutely by accident. I was reading blogs, and one of my favourites went private. I was trying to gain permission to still read it, and found myself signing up, I thought, to get into her blog. In fact, I created a blog of my own! I was VERY unfamiliar with computers at the time. I wrote very tentatively in my own blog, and here I am, still doing just that! I found myself welcomed by you, Bonnie, and others. I was thrilled to be included in this wonderful, friendly world of spankos. Thank you!

Congratulations on your blog's six year anniversary! May there be many more!

You're very welcome, Daisy!

Rogue: I read blogs for months and months before I talked to my husband about a starting a DD lifestyle. I will never forget the fear/excitement of publishing that first post and receiving comments. Everyone scooted their chairs around and welcomed me into the circle in the warmest way. I think you all simply ROCK! :)

I am proud to count you among my friends, Rogue.

Sarah Thorne: Yes, I have one and had others. Quite simply, I like to write! First, I started a website with my stories under my sarah thorne pseudonym in 2003. Then, when hubby and I got together, we started the ZED and ginger blog as a couple to give both accounts of our growing relationship. We closed that one a few years later for personal reasons, and began another, low key blog of our relationship. However, since I was using my original screen name once more (sarah thorne) instead of ginger, I started a blog to simply write my personal take about spanking related stuff, both serious and fun!

Your earlier blog was a strong influence for me, and I'm sure for many others.

Hermione: Congratulations on your sixth blogaversary! I love the snapshot of how your blog looked in the beginning. That was before my time. It's interesting to see who was on your blogroll and even more interesting that some of those blogs are still around. I can't imagine you having a blogroll so short. :-)

I have a blog that's three and a half years old. I started out by reading and lurking on several spanking blogs, including MBS. When you kindly asked me to share my story and featured it as a guest post here, I got a taste of writing about spanking and liked it. After a few months of enthusiastic commenting, I realized I wanted more. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I wanted to be just like you, so I started my own blog. It quickly found its own direction and its own unique perspective on spanking for enjoyment. On my blog, I'm in control, and can express myself freely, in whatever way I choose. It's my own personal happy place.

Here's to many more years of happy blogging for both of us!

Thanks, Hermione, for all you do!

Meow: After reading blogs for a few months, I started a blog that was private, just for Lash to read. When another blogger looked on my profile and couldn't access my blog, I finally realized that I was ready to go public. That first reader was Daisy's husband, Davey, so thanks to them both for getting me started.

I'm glad you decided to share!

Our Bottoms Burn: Having been around the spanking Internet since the days of ASS, then the SSS newsgroups, I considered a blog, but initially felt I had little to say. That may still be true. Being one of your first readers, I mulled over trying a blog for two years before taking the plunge. And you, Bonnie, gave us our theme - that spanking was fun. So many write about discipline, while MBS and OBB write about the fun and erotic aspects. Even if I had half of your talents, OBB would still be a niche blog as we are both switches and switch with each other. We are as rare as inhibited planets, but we enjoy one another.

Here's to six more years!

You and Bacall have been along for the entire ride and I really appreciate your support.

Six of the Best: Congratulations on spanking blogging for six wondrous years. I might say 'six of the best' spanking blogging years. I hail you as our Queen of spanking bloggers. You will always get the 'red carpet' treatment from me. And may your bare bottom always blush likewise.

Thank you, Six

Velvet: Congratulations on your six year anniversary.

Although not technically a spanking blog, I began writing Velvet Nightmares to given voice to my experiences with my partner M. What we do is not something I can talk about freely with my friends. But I can write freely about it in the blogosphere, which is not only such a release, it has also introduced me to some wonderful friends.

I too was pleasantly surprised early on with the wonderful human side of blogging.

Karl Friedrich Gauss: Let me add my congratulations on your six years of blogging, Bonnie.

I actually don't blog, but I do comment on other people's blogs and I do frequently update a few threads on Chross' Spanking Scouts forum, in which I follow on from Chross' own theme of linking to worthwhile material out there in the spankosphere.

I lurked for years before I started commenting, and started only because I stumbled (via Spanking Blog) onto Alison Tyler's blog in which she was spinning out her erotic memoir. My reaction was that this stuff was SO good that I felt I had to do what I could to keep it coming. So I set up an alias and started commenting.

Periodically, I take a break from reading and commenting, to prove to myself that I'm not addicted, and for the sake of my mental health.

I toy with the idea of starting a blog, but feel I don't have a lot of personal experience to draw from, unlike many other successful bloggers.

Thanks, Karl!

Make Mine Red: Congrats, Bonnie! I have not and do not have a blog or any desire to do so, but I do enjoy reading and joining in on others' such as yours. Thanks for being here! Here's to many more successful blogging years. :)

Thanks, MMR, for your support!

Indy: Congratulations on six years, Bonnie. That's almost an unbelievable feat! Thanks also for the flashback to your original post. I noticed that the links to some of my favorite older bloggers led to archives on which some of their posts could still be found – what an unexpected surprise!

I've been blogging a little less than two years now. I explained why I started the blog in my first post. I have found it useful to think through topics so that I can write essays about them, and I've found it fun to share play reports with people. As I noted later on, though, blogging hasn't been a game changer for me like Twitter has been. Perhaps that's all part of a natural progression from interacting broadly on line to settling into a smaller on-line home, as it were.

Thanks for all you have done and continue to do for the community, Bonnie!

Your success story, Indy, has paralleled the growth and maturation of our community. May the future hold more discovery and more enjoyment.

KayLynn: Congratulations, Bonnie! Your gathering all of us together means so much! I threw up a blog in a big hurry in order to participate in Flash Fantasy Fridays. Then I moved onto whining and then ferreting out self from DD. Now I write from my heart about the tougher things regarding spanking and all those letters that often accompany it.

Thank you, KayLynn!

Maui Girl: Mine isn't technically a spanking blog, although spanking is right up there with my all-time favorite activities. I started my blog about a month ago out of frustration with how things were progressing with my husband. Now that I blog, I find my path becoming clearer. I can put my thoughts into words and therefore into action. It helps!

Thanks for the opportunity to share and thanks for writing such a great blog.

Blogging has helped many of us in different ways. I hope you continue to see additional benefits as you move forward.

Lea: I started blogging back in February of this year. I'd started to read some other spanking blogs and decided that I wanted to try it. I thought that between real life experiences and humor that I could keep it interesting. Props to those out there like Hermione who can post daily and keep things fresh. I can't write to that extent, but I've enjoyed it and am happily surprised by the number of people who continue to read. A guy on FetLife said that he considered blogging to be narcissistic, assuming that you were that interesting that people care to read your thoughts. Well somebody's reading, so :-P to that guy. LOL

Yes, Lea, you are that interesting!

Kitty: Congratulations on six years! Wow!

I do have a blog by the name of Sweet Surrender. I started it just for fun at first. Now I enjoy the friendships I've made through blogging.

Thanks, Kitty!

Michael M: Many congrats on your six of the best. I hope you get well rewarded for your efforts.

Your blog is somewhere I pass by daily. I started to blog a few weeks ago and appreciated your link. That link generates a huge amount of viewing traffic, so thanks. I hope that I get to six weeks never mind six years!

I can assure you that no one sets out to blog for six years. What happens is that you start and then simply don't stop.

Rob: Congrats on six years. It's quite an accomplishment. I started a blog a few years ago, but haven't posted in some time. Finding time to write and coming up with interesting content on a consistent basis is difficult. I started after finding a blog by man who described things from the F/M perspective. I, of course, related to it and started writing just for myself. I may return to it one day when I have more time. In the interim, I'll continue to enjoy reading various accounts from what seems to be an ever expanding list of blogs.

I think your posts are insightful and well written. Should you decide to return to regular updates, please let me know and I will happily restore your link.

Ronnie: Congratulations on your six years of blogging, Bonnie.

I used to read your blog often as well as Becoming Adam's Angel (not sure what happened to her) and AngelBrat. I loved to read you three ladies, but never had the courage to comment.

My blog is nearly three years old and sort of started by accident when you linked me. :) I was very nervous, but decided to go for it and I'm glad I did. Everyone was so welcoming and helpful. Hermione, Sara, Todd and Suzy were the first to say hello. I've had so much fun and made some wonderful friends. So a big thank you, Bonnie, and to everyone who stops by my blog.

Linking you, Ronnie, was no accident! :D

Prefectdt: Well done on reaching six years. :)

I started reading kinky blogs, then commenting on them and then I started one of my own. It was just a sort of natural progression.

My spanking blog has been a lot more successful than my attempts at vanilla blogging and vlogging, which just sort of died out through lack of interest. I think this is because of the strong sense of community that I have found amongst the spanking and BDSM blogs, that I have failed to find anywhere else.

I agree that our sense of community is something special. I am grateful everyday to be a part of this extended family.

Molly: Congratulations on your six years of blogging. That really is quite some achievement. I read a great deal of blogs for my 'Kiss Of The Week' project. I have found that many people start up with all good intentions and very quickly fall by the way side.

I have been blogging for nearly two years and I am stunned by the amount of traffic I get. I have made some truly wonderful friends through my blog and learned a great deal from other bloggers along the way.

Why did I start? I wanted my own place to write on a regular basis. I had previously written a few erotic stories and published them on story sites, but I felt very disjointed from my own work. My blog began about at the same time as my relationship with Sir. It has slowly evolved as we have evolved together as D/s couple.

I would not say my blog is a spanking blog per se, but it certainly covers the subject in detail and on a regular basis, including self-portrait photographs of Sir's handiwork.

There is one area of blogging that has always intrigued me and when I get time to do so I intend to investigate more. Why do so many submissive woman blog? What is it about that dynamic and their need to share that motivates them? As I said, more research is needed. I am working on a questionnaire to send to people who would be interested in helping me with this project. I just need MORE hours in the day to do all this, AND get my arse spanked. ;)

That's a very interesting question, Molly. I look forward to hearing the answer.

R Humphries: Warmest Congratulations, Bonnie. What a superb achievement.

When I started the blog, my Woody Back to School Unit stories had been batting around the net in one form or another since the mid-nineties. Initially, the blog was an experiment to commercialize the saga through self-publishing. After a while, I decided that was neither particularly profitable nor fulfilling. We decided to just provide the books free in our libraries and then later added the original cartoon galleries. Was this the right decision? Who knows? But as a life-long dedicated spanko, I’d like to think that My Beloved Jojo and I have quietly added our own contribution to this wonderful community.

Bottoms up, Bonnie et al!

Thanks, RH!

Kiwi Girlie Girl: Congrats, Bonnie on six years and counting. You have a great blog and I love it.

I have a blog and it's a couple of months old. I started it because I was so confused and unsure of how to go about DD. I read and commented on lots of other blogs and I had so much in my head that I wanted to get off my chest. So I started my blog.

I agree with Rogue. You guys are so welcoming and kind and friendly and you all ROCK. A bit thank you to everyone with your words of advice and wisdom and shoulders and tissues when things have gone wrong and excitement and applause when things have gone right. I'd be lost without you all!

Aw, we love you too, KGG!

Bonnie: I started this blog as way to share spanking stories I had written. It quickly evolved into more than that.

Thanks, everyone for your generous words. I really appreciate your readership and participation.

MBS Spanko Brunch #297

Six years ago today, I was reading spanking blogs, admiring the work of those talented writers, and thinking, "I believe I can do this." So began My Bottom Smarts.

On that very first day, I chose the name, the familiar white on red color scheme, and the general feel I wanted. Here is a fun snapshot of how MBS looked in those early days. Much has changed since then, but my love for this community (and a good spanking) remain the same.

While we're in this nostalgic frame of mind, let's discuss beginnings.

Do you have or have you had a spanking-oriented blog? If so, what motivated you to start blogging?

To answer our question, simply enter your thoughts as a comment below. Once everyone has spoken, I will post an edited summary.

In with the New: Harvest Edition

It is my pleasure to present for your reading enjoyment an excellent set of new spanking-oriented blogs. I encourage you to peruse and celebrate these blogs.

A Domestic's Journey Duality of Pain Enjoying the Journey Glasgow Spank It's Tough Being a Princess Just x One x Girl Nadia Nautalia Naughtyney Sapphic Submissions (F/F) Spanked Farmer's Wife Vanilla Sundaes: Ramblings of a Spanko Wicker Park Wife Led Marriages (F/M)

Legend General Spanking Photo Blogs Model/Industry DD Blogs Authors/Stories Ds/BDSM Blogs

To these new members of our community, I bid you welcome. If you would like some blogging tips and suggestions, try these. In any case, we're very glad you're here!

MBS Spanko Brunch #296

Happy weekend, dear friends. Our topic this week is drawn from a recent observation by my husband, Randy. We wonder how universal it might be.

Immediately after receiving a spanking, do you find that the spankee is more compliant to requests (such as stand in the corner, pose for photographs, retrieve toys, participate in sex acts, discuss otherwise difficult topics, etc.)?

We'd love to know what you think. To join the fun, simply enter your response in the form of a comment below. At the end of the weekend, I will post an edited summary.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Sept 11

Our topic this week was whether a fantasy can be suppressed. Here are your thoughts.

Daisy: I think if you truly believed it was wrong and violent, you not only could, but would move away from it, without a backward glance.

I have seen things on other blogs that I thought were verging on abusive. I have never gone back for a second look. That just doesn't interest me.

Joeyred: I believe that you can try to repress the fantasy and create lots of reasons why you should ignore it. However, if it is part of your DNA, it will linger. For years, I repressed the fantasy, but it would not go away. So I began a journey of self discovery. The breakthrough for me was the discovery of Zelle's blog quite by accident. I was fascinated by her insights and realized that intelligent, witty and successful people had the same fantasy. The loss of a dear friend at a young age melted my inhibitions and I decided to fulfill my fantasy of being spanked.

After years of fighting to repress my fantasy, I finally experienced the excitement and fun of a spanking. If anything, I regret that I did not begin at an earlier age. Not only have I met a group of terrific spanko friends, I finally feel that a large part of what makes me who I am has been fulfilled.

Meow: My fantasy about spanking is harsher and more violent than I would want in real life. I prefer the reality, but I find the fantasy exciting. Similarly, I find the idea of sky diving exciting, but I would never do it. For me, dissatisfaction comes when there is no spanking!

Hermione: Fantasies are just that. They are not real, and don't necessarily have any bearing on real life. I indulge in fantasies that are arousing to me, but they aren't anything close to what I would actually want to encounter in real life. Like Meow, I prefer the reality. There's no reason to judge your fantasies or try to avoid them. They are what they are. It's okay to fantasize.

As for deciding that spanking is wrong, if it appeals to you and is safe, sane and consensual, then there is no harm in it. If it does not appeal to you or arouse you, then like Daisy said, walk away.

PK: I'm right there with Meow and Hermione. I love real life and the fact that spanking is a part of my life now, but my fantasies are fun too. Many of them are way more severe than I want in my real life. My fantasies kept me going until the real thing came along and now many of then find their way into my fiction stories.

Before I found like-minded friends and began blogging, I would sometimes come to feel that the whole spanking thing was wrong and I was “sick.” I'd decide to stop fantasizing about it. When that happened, I would become severely depressed. For me, spanking fantasies keep me mentally happy and well balanced. The real thing helps even more, so I don't see myself ever giving them up.

Emily: There's a HUGE difference between consensual non-consent and abuse. I was in a dark place when I suppressed my spanking fantasies because I wasn't being true to myself. Living the "normal" way is someone else's life, not mine.

If you can't be honest with the person with whom you're in a relationship, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship.

Michael M: It is very probable that you either are or are not a spankophile. If you are, then you will have your own way of fantasizing about your desires. If you want to imagine and dream about being whipped, but would prefer not to have it happen in reality, that is perfectly fine. If you would like to be gently spanked to a modicum of redness, that is who you are. If, however, you think would like to be tied to a spanking bench and beaten with a cane, then give it a try, but do so with someone who will stop if you don't enjoy it.

To thine own self be true, as the man said.

Six of the Best: I have always felt that I can keep my spanking fantasies under control. Yes, in my lifetime I've spanked a number of consensual female partners with mutual satisfaction. And yes, spanking blogs are fun, a joy to read, and bring to me normalcy.

Anon: I ran from my fantasies. It was not because I thought they were violent, but because I thought they were dirty and wrong and demeaning to women. But my fantasies caught up with me. I couldn't get away. I got over my hang-ups and no longer think they are dirty (well, maybe a little) or demeaning (as long as it's consensual). But if I thought my fantasies were violent, truly violent, I'd work harder to suppress them. I feel blessed that I've never experienced true violence. I think that would make all the difference.

Bobbie Jo: I must say this is an interesting question. I believe that a person can stop fantasising about anything. It isn't the easiest thing to do, but it can been done. If anyone thinks spanking is wrong and should not be engaged in, the first line of defence is to stop fantasising about it.

Having said that, I have to be honest and say that for years I was able to "forget" about spanking entirely, or so I thought. After about twenty years of not thinking about it, it came over me like a tsunami a couple of months after my husband died. I have never been successful in eradicating it totally and I have learned that it really never goes away, at least for most of us. I have only been spanked by one person as an adult and neither of us knew what we were doing. He was a therapist. Wrong move.

I still struggle with the idea that something is wrong here. After doing a lot of research on the issue, I am really troubled by a lot of what I have seen, consensual or not. I know all of us have struggled at some time with spanking and wondering whether it is wrong and considering it as very weird.

I have no answers, only ideas and suggestions. I guess that is all any of us have.

CurtisG: If you are a lifelong spanko, it's at the heart of your sexuality and, like me, you've known that since childhood, you'll never be able to put it away. Spanking has always been for me about fun, play, sensuality and arousal. I've witnessed or heard or read about scenes that are violent and abusive and, if that were in my view of things, I would turn away. But that's never been me in either fantasy or reality. I pursued spanking when I was young, but didn't advertise that I was into it. Eve Howard's early writings made me comfortable in my own skin. So, I'd have to say that it's impossible to turn away from what's your nature. You know that your nature is not dangerous, or abusive or anything even close.

Scunge: NO and YES.

S.N.M.: Nope.

A'marie: To me, it's about where the fantasy lies. I have fantasies with varying degrees of kink and possibility.

I think that for the most part, the answer would be yes. I think in this case, if I were to decide spanking were wrong and violent, it would be a gradual change of thought. Thus, over time, my fantasies would have changed, too.

I've repressed spanking before for relationships, and I'm sure I could do it again. But yes, the dissatisfaction would be there to some degree.

Lea: Can you repress a fantasy? I think so. I had more than a passing interest in spanking for a long time before I ever acted on it a few years ago. If, for some reason, everything was suddenly cut off and I couldn't do it anymore, I'd live, but it would be harder now that I'd know what I'd be missing.

Molly: I think fantasies are ever-changing and evolving 'stories' within our minds. As we have real life experiences, read, see pictures, movies or talk with others, our fantasies change in response to this.

You can definitely repress fantasies. Sometimes, this happens as our fantasy develops and changes within our mind. We fade out some areas and focus in on others. This is a kind of involuntary suppression.

A more active repression is also possible. Sometimes, our fantasies challenge us beyond what we are ready for and so shut them away. Does that lead to dissatisfaction? I think that very much depends on the level of repression. I think if it leads to you cutting off your imagination and fantasies altogether, it could be very harmful. I believe our minds need space to explore all of our thoughts. Trying to switch that off just denies ourselves a true exploration of everything that we are.

Prefectdt: The simple answer is no. I cannot suppress the spanking thing and trying to deny it in the past has lead to bad things in my life.

MarQe: If spanking arouses your interest, why even consider repressing it ? If you need it, then find someone you trust to administer it. A good sound spanking will soon let you know one way or another whether you have made the right decision!

Season: I echo what Meow, Hermione, and PK said. My fantasies go much further than what I do in reality. There were times in the past when I tried to suppress those spanking desires, but it never lasted long. I have accepted that it is part of how I am wired and something I'm meant to enjoy.

Daisy: I didn't take the question to be whether we could turn away from spanking without missing it. The key phrase for me was "if you decided that spanking was wrong and violent."

I used to fantasise about all sorts of scenarios when I was younger, and they all involved my (then) husband spanking me. We often played about with it, but without the benefit of internet or others to talk to about it, we were so useless!

Then he came home drunk one night, in a temper, and decided to cane me. It was definitely NOT consensual. Suffice it to say, it was a bad experience.

So, it's not difficult at all, to decide that this was wrong and violent, AND IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

Davey knows all about it, and agreed the cane will never, ever, feature in our relationship, unless I expressly request it, which I never will.

Spanking is a part of me and a part of us, but any part that causes those feelings (that something is wrong and or violent) has no place in my life and can be thrown out without a backward glance. We can manage our spankings quite nicely without a cane, thank you very much!

Bonnie: We have discussed several times the practicality of suppressing one's spanking interest. The majority answer to this question seems to be that it's possible, but problematic for those of us who crave it.

In contrast, this week's question deals specifically with fantasies. I find that I have two kinds of fantasies. The first are the generalized, long term variety. They have changed only in minor detail since I was a young teen. The second type are more fleeting and evolve over time. These may appear, disappear, and reappear without warning.

The permanent fantasies are a part of me. They cannot be suppressed without changing who I am. The transient fantasies can more easily be derailed and the consequences are minimal.

Thank you all for sharing your insight. I hope you'll join us again next week.

MBS Spanko Brunch #295

Ah, weekends! I love them. This is our time to kick back, relax for while and enjoy good company.

Our question was suggested by a new blogger who calls herself Secretlyscared. If you're curious about her secrets or why she might be scared, I encourage you to visit. SS asks:

Can you repress a fantasy? For example, if you decided that spanking was wrong and violent, could you move away from it and ignore it, or would this just lead to dissatisfaction?

We'd love to hear what you think. To join our conversation, just enter your thoughts below as a comment. Once every has had a chance to speak, I will post an edited summary.

In with the New: Kickoff Edition

It's time again to meet new friends.

1950s Wife A Desire to Yield Banjo's BBS (F/M) CDD for Life? Pookie's Story (D)ee for (D)esire Disciplined Behaviour (F/M) Embarrassing & Fun (F/M) From Vanilla to Dom Inner Thoughts of Taylor Rayne Jill and Carolyn Sister Blog Megyn's Bloggy Goodness So Spankable La-La's Blog Sore Bottom SPReview - The Consumer's Spanking Video News and Reviews Strict Women (F/?) Strictworld

Legend General Spanking Photo Blogs Model/Industry DD Blogs Authors/Stories Ds/BDSM Blogs

To these new members of our community, I bid you welcome. If you would like some blogging tips and suggestions, try these. In any case, we're very glad you're here!

Late Bloomer by Erica Scott

Erica Scott is sort of like...


Exactly.

Erica stands apart from anyone else to whom she might be compared. And she probably likes it that way.

I wanted to plug Erica's new autobiography, Late Bloomer, as soon as it came out. But I knew I couldn't provide a fair review without first having read it. I just finished Late Bloomer and it was even better than I anticipated. Once I began, I could hardly put it down.

Many people know Erica Scott as a leading spanking model, popular blogger, and talented writer. She's beautiful, clever, funny, resourceful, and to her numerous fans, a familiar ambassador for our community. In Late Bloomer, we discover another facet of Erica, an independent woman, tested by life, who dares to define success on her own terms.

The story is not entirely cheery, in fact some portions are quite dark, but Erica's wonderful humor and indomitable spirit carry the day. The book begins by tracing Erica's progression from quiet child to troubled teen to unhappy adult. Gradually, however, she overcomes a series of obstacles and transforms her life for the better. The second half of the book describes the completion of her metamorphosis from timid, worried Erica to Erica Scott, international spanko superstar.

Although I was familiar with some of the stories from Erica's blog, never were they so much in context. Late Bloomer is a portrait of a life still evolving. Erica acknowledges her limitations and fears, even as she ably navigates past them. Celebrating her catalog of triumphs reinforces the considerable admiration I have long felt for Erica.

I probably wouldn't choose to pursue some of the activities that Erica has tried. But her courageous example inspires me to move beyond my comfort zone and be more adventurous both in kink and in life. Thank you, dear friend, for that gift.

For anyone who enjoys Erica's videos, reads her blog, or considers themselves a spanking enthusiast, Late Bloomer is a must-have book. You can learn how to buy it here.

I hope Spielberg produces the film adaptation.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Sept 4

Our question of the week was whether spanking blogs constitute pornography. Here are your thoughts.

Six of the Best: For the unenlightened members of society, spanking is considered sexually taboo. What to them is sexually taboo is considered by them to be pornography. Therefore, it is up to us as spankos to enlighten them.

Xantu: Porn for me is any material that is consumed primarily to feed the sexual appetite. But I do not always read spanking blogs for prurient reasons. And not all spanking blogs titillate. There are many that address the broader issues of living a life as a spanko. While not necessarily sexy, these topics are interesting and helpful. So, I think sometimes spanking blogs are porn and sometimes not. It depends on the topic.

Hermione: I think a pornographic blog is one that is sexually explicit in words or pictures. By that definition, this blog certainly is not pornographic, although I have learned that some web censoring software considers it as such.

There is a huge range of content in the 450 blogs that appear on your blogroll. Some qualify as pornography, but most do not. Some vary, depending on the individual post. Most of the spanking blogs I read are not pornographic. I read them not for sexual titillation, but out of interest and with a sense of camaraderie with the authors. I try to steer clear of the ones that consistently display explicit sexual images.

Lea: I know my blog carries the "adult content" tag to enter, but I definitely wouldn't consider it sexually explicit. I actually try to avoid going into that side of things at length so I can appeal to a greater audience. Some blogs are more sexual and others aren't at all. "Not that there's anything wrong with that" to quote Seinfeld. LOL I like to browse both, depending on my mood. It's all a matter of preference.

Daisy: I think there is a vast difference between sexy and overtly sexual. Maybe I am alone in that. I consider porn to be material which is very graphic and explicit in content, and as others have said, spanking per se is not. Some blogs are more explicit than others, but porn is sex for the sake of sex, usually with no relationship content. Since the blogs I read are about spanking enhancing a relationship, I would not class them as porn.

I know there are blogs that discuss spankings outside of relationships, including some with deliberately provocative poses with all sorts of "unnecessary bits" on show. Davey came across several when he was researching my suggestion to try spanking as a way to enhance our relationship. He freaked! These may come under the heading of porn. Heck, some he came across definitely fall under that heading!

Molly: Ahhh, the age old question, What is Porn? Who famously said, “I can't define it, but I know it when I see it.” I think is that is actually a great definition as it is a purely one indivdual's view. One's man or woman's porn is another's morning newspaper (we have bare boobies in some of our daily papers here in the UK).

Is a spanking blog porn? Again, that is a question for each individual. For some, it is interesting reading, a learning experience, and a place to find like-minded opinions or beliefs. For others, maybe it is just a place to get off.

There are certainly some spanking blogs that have a more pornographic content than others, but like all the different sex bloggers, there really is something for everyone out there.

Michelle Carlyle: I don't write porn. I write explicit sex, but I classify it as romance. Romantic spanking fiction. But I know others classify what I do as porn.

Porn is in the eye of the beholder.

Jean Marie: You'll get as many answers to that question, Bonnie, as you get responders. I think Dr. Ruth Westheimer answered the question by saying that porn was when non-consentual negativity was pictured or discussed. Depicting children in sex or rape of anyone is porn. Causing pain when both partners want this exchange (and the power behind it) is not, in my opinion. Similar to Michelle Carlyle, I like to write about sex and sexuality, but have character and plot development, so I consider my work erotica. It was a conservative Supreme Court justice who said he knew it when he saw it, like Ed Meese of the Reagan administration. I think their viewpoints would differ from mine. And I'm proud of that!

Bobbie Jo: To me, porn is explicit, sexual content, consentual or not, depicted in film, pictures in magazines, etc. I don't care much for the films and pictures of a naked lady being spanked as that is a bit to close to porn. I wouldn't call it porn, though. I just don't care for it. Adult spanking in and of itself is not porn. It is vastly misunderstood and in some corners, porn is included which doesn't help because society can't distinguish between the two.

Yes, there is something about spanking that turns a lot of us on, but is that porn? I don't think so. Porn is graphic sexual content. Some stuff I have seen as I researched TTWD isn't even related to spanking and, to me, is some of the worst, sleasy junk there is. I know that will not go over very well with some, but it is just how I see it.

MarQe: I think spanking probably is porn. Do I care? Not really, it's only a word after all! We all know the folks who inhabit the spanking scene are largely nice, normal folks who have found something they all enjoy. Other folks who perceive themselves to be 'normal' think that we're weird. It's a funny old world!

Gracie: I think I'd have to qualify most of the spanking blogs I read as not pornographic- not anymore graphic than what you'd find in a PG-13 movie. Some of them do, though. Then again, I like pornography, by and large. My blog is pretty explicit, but there's a lot of mundane stuff in there, too.

Dr. Ken: I think it's a matter of content and is most likely "in the eye of the beholder." My blog talks about spanking, usually with a photo or two depicting a spanking or a cute girl''s bare bottom, a "spankable." But there's nothing graphic in words or in pictures, nothing overt. I consider it pretty innocent, actually. Still, it might qualify to someone out there as "porn," I suppose. It depends on your interpretation of the word, and that varies from person to person.

Our Bottoms Burn: I guess it's porn if it offends the reader. MBS could be out of Disney, but the stories are HOT!

Sites with parts showing have less to do with spanking than they do with sex.

I suspect Walt might not be too pleased to see Minnie with her bloomers around her ankles!

Prefectdt: For my money, pornography is whatever gives the viewer or reader sexual titillation. It is one thing to one person and another to someone else.

For example, my own quirks leave me feeling somewhat guilty when viewing some images. There are plenty of images of half or wholly unclad female spankees on blogs that are clearly intended to interest the heterosexual male viewer. Yet they do nothing for me. I am not interested in female bottoms and subs in a sexual way. I can tell that they are good looking, but that does not automatically click my sexual jolly button.

In contrast, blogs and websites intended for the lovers of Victoriana and Edwardian period clothing that have women fully clad (often more so than in modern fashions) in a way that gives them that strict historical Miss image are very often exciting to me, even though there is no sexual intent on presentation of the image.

So are spanking blogs pornographic in nature? To some readers, yes, and to others, no.

Ronnie: What one person classes as a pornographic blog might not be to someone else. I personally don't like to see very graphic pictures of women in silly poses showing off all their bits and bobs. :)

I do post pictures of bare bottoms on my blog, but I don't class them as pornographic and none of the blogs I read would be classed as a pornographic blog, and yours certainly isn't.

A-Non: The "I know it when I see it" quote is from long before Reagan's court. This is what Wikipedia says:

"The phrase was infamously used by United States Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart to describe his threshold test for pornography in Jacobellis v. Ohio (1964)."

Sara: As has been said, we all have our own sense of 'appropriate' boundaries and those may differ. I think some spanking blogs are pretty much pornographic and others are not at all. To me, spanking is not just all about sex and not all sex is porn. There is such a thing as taste and discretion. Just about anything can be talked about within bounds, if you should choose to do so. And, BTW, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with 'porn' anyway. It's just not at all my thing!

Emanuele: Since spanking is such an exciting topic to me, I find most spanking blogs very interesting. Yes, I also find them sexually stimulating. I think to most people that would qualify as porn. That is fine with me. I don't have any real objections to porn.

Bonnie: Here's my short and sweet definition of pornography:

Explicit depiction of genital contact in a sexual context created for profit

So let's apply it:

Mainstream movie love scenes – No – Not explicit
Dirty dancing or passionate kissing – No – No genital contact
Gynecological examination – No – Not a sexual context
Nude modeling – No – No genital contact
Homemade sex videos – No – Not created for profit
Most spanking videos – No – No genital contact
Most spanking blogs – No – Doesn't fit multiple elements of this definition
Commercial sex videos – Yes – Fits all elements

Thank you all for sounding off on our porn question. Please join us again next week when we will gather again.

MBS Spanko Brunch #294

For those of us in North America, this is the traditional Labor Day weekend. It is a time for kicking back with a cool glass of lemonade and reflecting upon nature's gradual transition from summer to autumn. I'm pleased that you chose to spend a few minutes with us.

I received a spammy e-mail recently that solicited my participation in some sort of affiliate program. These messages are familiar to many bloggers. Basically, they want you to post their ads on your blog in exchange for money. It's not my cup of tea, but so be it.

I normally delete these messages without opening them, but for whatever reason, I didn't this time. When I came upon the following phrase, I stopped in my tracks:

As many other publishers of quality porn already know...

What's that? Porn? You're not talking to me. I don't... Do I?

To what extent do spanking blogs fit within your definition of pornography?

If you'd like to join our conversation, just enter your thoughts below in the form of a comment. Once everyone has responded, I will post an edited summary.